Incarcerated; Rain
by Sakura Blackwolf
Summary: Enemies tend to vary. Some are polite, some are just plain sick, and some may claim to be your mother (Complete)
1. Prologue

Eh, I haven't watched any of the series! I'm so deprived!*waah*. So if this fic doesn't follow the storyline, it can be AU ne? ^-^  
  
Rated for Sanzo's language(Bad monk! Bad!). And eh..elaborations come in more quanity in later chapters. I have this whole scene planned out in the middle ^^;;  
  
  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
by Sakura Blackwolf/ Doc  
  
  
Prologue  
  
  
  
Damn youkai...  
  
  
Damn, fucking, stupid youkai  
  
It was because of them he and Goku were stuck in this forest. It was because of their random attacks that they were separated from Gojyo and Hakkai with no shelter. Their fault that he was bleeding at the stomach and Goku suffered from stabs on his forearm and his shoulder. It was their fault dammit! They could've been up the cliffside inside Jeep but nooo, they had to get ambushed, knocking him off, and the bakazaru jumped after him! Plus it had just started raining.  
  
  
Fuck  
  
  
"Sanzo..What do we do? I can't see a cave anywhere.."  
  
Sanzo growled under his breath and looked over. It was true. There wasn't any sort of shelter around, not even a den inside a tree trunk. But they couldn't just stand out there freezing to death before Gojyo and Hakkai can even start searching for them. Surely the rain was holding them back too. Eyeing the bright orange cape on Goku back, a gloved hand moved to snatch it off the youkai's back, paying no mind to Goku's cry of surprise. The brunette rubbed at his neck where it hurt from the sharp tug,"Oi Sanzo! What was -that- for?!"  
  
Sanzo placed the orange material on the slightly wet dirt.  
  
"Sanzo?"  
  
Goku opened his mouth to ask again, but was silenced by the blurry glare of violet eyes and closed his mouth. The youkai's golden eyes blinked curiously as the monk slid off the bottom of his robes, revealing the denim jeans underneath and then used that to cover the cape. The blonde looked back up at Goku,"Sit down, bakazaru."  
  
"Ne..?"  
  
"Just do it!"  
  
If his arm wasn't hurting so much, Goku would've questioned Sanzo's antics a bit more. But his right arm was numb now. Not from the rain but from the previous attack. He had loss quite an amount of blood, leaving his arm immobile and weighing him down whenever he walked. The brunette sat down on the two covers, face grimacing slightly as he settled down and pulled his right arm to his chest. He ran his fingers over the fresh pink wounds. He wished Hakkai and Gojyo were with them. Then Hakkai would tell him everything was fine. Gojyo would tell him 'Just a few minor setbacks here and there, saru'  
  
but...  
  
It was partially his fault Sanzo was down here in the first place.  
  
He was too busy fending off other youkai, he had forgotten to check on Sanzo. The youkai turned his head away. Sanzo probably doesn't want to look at him anymore. He's probably thinking how disgraceful he is right now. He swore he was going to protect Sanzo and he did such a lousy job. 'Sanzo's mad at me, I know it!'  
  
Golden eyes blinked as a large cloth covered over his head. He tilted his head curiously at saw Sanzo holding the top of his robe over their heads. No way, after the way he had acted, he shouldn't have this kind of generousity from Sanzo who had a better chance of dying. He needs all the warmth he could get. Goku's eyes lowered,"Sanzo, no it's okay. You keep the robe to yourself."  
  
"Urusai. What am I supposed to say to Hakkai when he finds you catching the flu? It's staying on, baka," the monk snapped, bringing his feet closer to his chest, wincing as his wound was disturbed once more at the slow movement.  
  
"But Sanzo..."  
  
"Urusai,"he muttered with a more calm voice. Hesitantly, Goku shifted closer to the blonde next to him, holding onto a sleeve with his left to bring the only shelter for them closer to his disabled body. He wanted to protect Sanzo, why couldn't he do it? Eyes..sleepy...Sanzo...Sanzo deserves better. If he were a better bodyguard, Sanzo wouldn't get hurt like this so much.   
  
Tired...  
  
Soon Goku had fallen asleep on Sanzo's bare shoulder.   
  
Genjo Sanzo's eyes narrowed at the sky, keeping his mind off the 500 year old youkai next to him  
  
The rain seemed to go on forever.  
  
  
  
[I've been having weird dreams lately...]  
  
Dreams...  
  
[Dreams of someone...calling me. For what...?]  
  
Calling me...  
  
[Who are you?]  
  
Why are you here...?  
  
  
...  
  
  
[[I'm here...I'm waiting for you...come to me...]]  
  
[[...Konzen..]]  
  
  
  
Sanzo's violet eyes fluttered open as sunlight reached his eyes. Where was he? The blonde snapped his body straight up, only to be taken back down but his bandaged wound..bandaged? Sanzo this time sat up slowly, holding a hand to his gut. Jeep..he was in jeep. His sutras, excorism gun were at his side like they had been last night along with his dirt sooted robes and paper fan. How...?  
  
"Ah! You're up, Sanzo!" Hakkai...  
  
The green clad man smiled, "In case your wondering. Gojyo and I drove looking for you guys early since it was bright and since I figured you two would still be asleep at that time. Luckily we found you. You two had bled quite a lot. Those youkai seemed a lot more desperate to hurt us this time though, so you're lucky you pulled through with only a deep stomach wound."  
  
The monk frowned at that. He could've died? Those bastard youkai! Calming down, his eyes looked around, "Hakkai..where's-"  
  
"Look's like Mr. Wordly monk is up and at them again!" Sanzo's amethyst eyes narrowed as he saw Gojyo giving him a lazy grin. The redhead leaned an arm against Hakkai's shoulder, "You were asleep for a long time. We already had breakfast and that was a couple hours ago."  
  
The blond merely scoffed at him and looked back at Hakkai to resume his question, "Where'd the monkey run off to?"  
  
"Awww, the master's worried about his pet."  
  
"Urusai!" Grabbing the fan at his side-Thwack!  
  
"Dammit Sanzo! You sure hit hard for someone injured!"  
  
"Yare yare!"Hakkai smiled nervously,"Gojyo, you shouldn't tempt Sanzo when he's hurt."  
  
"Yeah yeah,"Gojyo grumbled, using both hands to rub his aching head from the wrath of the paper fan.  
  
"Ahh, sumimasen, Sanzo. Goku went off to get some firewood early. The nearest town is too far and it would be really late at night by the time we got even 3 quarters of the way there so we'll be here for one or two days."  
  
"Let's go anyways."  
  
"Nani?" the other two chorused together. Sanzo nodded, sharp violet eyes now glazed over.  
  
"We leave once the monkey comes back."  
  
"But Sanzo other than it being dark, you and Goku are still injured and-"  
  
"I don't care dammit!" Sanzo stood up and climbed into the front seat from the back. Hakkai looked at Gojyo in a worried manner. The half-youkai shrugged and went off to call back Goku. The healer's green eyes shifted back to the waiting monk. Something wasn't right. He couldn't understand why Sanzo was so desperate to get to the next town. Plus it was very dangerous in his condition.  
  
'But you can't help everything in the world' Hakkai thought sadly, and walked around the front to the driver's seat, waiting for Gojyo and Goku to emerge. He could feel his stomach knot and the tension grow along his spine. He wished he knew what was going on through Sanzo's head. The blond looked too intense for his own good. In fact, he seemed disgruntled by a thought perphaps? Hakkai slightly shook his head and looked out to where the forest started again from the clearing for the other two.  
  
[[Here...I'm here...]]  
  
[[I'm waiting for you...I'll be here...]]  
  
[[...]]  
  
[[..my son..]]  
  
  
TBC  
  
Okay, have I sparked your interest? I hope! 


	2. Departing

Ah-ha, should be doing homework*sweatdrop* Kappa! Where is the soda!?  
Kappa You already drank the can next to you-drink milk or something!   
But milk doesn't have caffine...  
Kappa -.- I don't care  
Hidoi!  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
Chapter 1  
{Departing}  
  
Hakkai frowned at their previous situation. Sanzo had forced him and Hakuryuu to keep driving, even when it was pitch black until finally Hakuryuu was too exhausted and too damaged by the the hidden rocks to go on. Straight the next day, after maybe four or five hours, the blond priest ordered them back on the road. Now they were in the hotel, Hakuryuu needed hours of rest, Goku and Gojyo were at the resturant, Sanzo..actually he didn't know what Sanzo was doing. It troubled him. Sanzo was never that persistent to get to a town. And strangely enough, there were no Youkai that attacked them, not even when they were most vunerable.  
  
It was odd, and Hakkai didn't like it at all.  
  
He remembered Sanzo saying he was going out, or at least mumbled it. He didn't even say where-and it was raining again. Sanzo hated the rain, why would he want to go out in it? The squeak of the door opening brought Hakkai to stop looking at the glistening window. Gojyo swung in, walking over to the healer with a burning cigarette balanced on his lip.  
  
"Where'd 'Sanzo-sama' run off to?" the kappa questioned with a hint of sarcasm.  
  
":I don't know. I'm really worried, Gojyo. It's raining and you know how Sanzo hates the rain. He went outside." Gojyo frowned and sat down next to the healer on the windowsill, "Don't worry. That monk finds a way to come back to his bitchy self somehow."  
  
Hakkai shook his head, "I'm worried about Goku too."  
  
"Saru?"  
  
"Yes. Doesn't Goku seem a bit down? He has been since we found him," Hakkai folded his hands together, "I wish I knew what happened down there."  
  
Letting the smoke slide away from his mouth, the kappa glanced outside, "It's pouring. Is that why you can't sleep even if Sanzo and Goku were as normal as they can be?"  
  
"Probably, but I'm not concerned about myself right now, Gojyo. I should ask Goku if he's okay." Gojyo plucked the drug from his mouth, "Well, it'll have to wait. The bakasaru's asleep."  
  
"I suppose," Hakkai's emerald eyes shifted over to the napping white dragon and found his smile again. He didn't even realize he had frowned.  
  
"You worry too much, Hakkai."  
  
"Nani?"  
  
Gojyo's crimson eyes shifted back to Hakkai's shcoked emerald ones, "You take too much onto yourself. Relax, and let me take some of the burden too. You're not the only one who notices how the saru's being acting or the monk's unusually bitchy mood."  
  
The healer smiled and looked away, "I can't help it Gojyo. Sumimasen."  
  
"Don't apologize."  
  
  
  
Goku shifted in bed. The contents in his stomach ached uncomfortably. It was rather irritating. All Goku wanted to do was sleep and forget Sanzo was gone. Yes, that was how he wouldn't notice the priest's absence. Just sleep. The youkai felt his knees curl close to his chest. It was scary being alone. He hated it. Where was Sanzo? Did Sanzo abanndon him? Gojyo and Hakkai were in the other room still right? They didn't leave without him...  
  
right?  
  
Goku whimpered softly like a puppy being hit. No no no, Sanzo just went out. He'll come back and you'll see him in the resturant in the morning. But it was still raining. Sanzo would never go out in the rain. Did he go outside but got killed? Was he dead in front of the hotel? The image of Sanzo's blood corpse lying in the rain made Goku leap to his feet in only a shirt and loose fitting pants. Fear overwhelmed him. No! Sanzo wouldn't let himself die! He wouldn't! Caught up in his thoughts, he let his bare feet carry him out of the dark room.  
  
  
Gojyo and Hakkai's heads tilted up at the sound of running feet. The pace was familar, the weight laid upon the floor was too. Hakkai sat up and ran towards the door, peeking out in time just to see a brown haired blur stride past. Recognition clung onto the healer's skin, "Goku!"  
  
Gojyo got up, smooshing his cigarette on the carpet with his foot before it burned, "Saru?! What?!"  
  
Hakkai swung open the door all the way before racing off down the hallway, Gojyo grumbling but tagging after.  
  
"Hakkai! What's going on?!"  
  
"Goku! I saw Goku running! He looked panicked!"  
  
  
When they exited the hotel they saw Goku on his knees.  
  
"Goku!"  
  
Goku looked up, and neither of them could tell if he was crying or if was just the rain. Goku stood up to his feet and turned around, facing them completely. His head was tilting down again, the shadow sweeping over his golden eyes. Hakkai walked forward, hands reaching out to the full youkai in front of him, only stopping when Goku swiped at his eyes. Finally, his pale hands touched the shorter boy's shoulders gently, the wound on the right already gone from Hakkai's healing.  
  
"Hakkai..Sanzo..Sanzo-I can't find him-where is he, Hakkai? He didn't leave us did he?" The other's eyebrows creased slightly  
  
"No, Goku. Of course not. Sanzo is just feeling a bit down lately. He'll be fine."  
  
"Hakkai..Hakkai..am..am I worthless?" This made Gojyo step forward, an angry look on his face.  
  
"Baka! Just because of one little incident doesn't make you worthless! Mr. Worldy monk's still alive and kickin'! Stop thinking so negatively or soon we'll be the ones wondering if you left!" Goku sniffled, shoulders shaking just slightly. He didn't respond to Gojyo which made the red haired half-youkai think over his words.  
  
"Goku...let's go inside now.."  
  
"Sanzo..."  
  
"Sanzo will be fine," Gojyo answered for the other, this time more softly. Goku looked at the kappa before nodding and sniffling at the same time, "Okay."  
  
  
But even then, everyone still wondered where Sanzo was.  
  
He didn't come back the next day.  
  
And the next day the sky was still crying.  
  
  
TBC  
  
  
*cackle*Where is Sanzo-sama indeedy! Kya ha! Still have homework though*blink* And this chapter was short because I ran out of plotting cells  
Kappa Baka! 


	3. Off the Edge of Despair

Got WinMX, but can't..find..the 2nd ending to Saiyuki..*twitch*...That works. But I got Double dear! Waaai! And I'm gonna order Requiem! Whoo hoo!(the series parts are still too expensive*not willing to spend so much just yet ^^*).  
  
  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
Chapter 2  
{Off the Edge of Despair}  
  
  
In the resturants, Gojyo frowned as he heard whispers about them, Goku in particular. Last night, they had all seen him eat so much, but now he was just sitting there staring. Some people thought he became anorexic when they spotted the boy who had nearly wiped the resturant out of business starving himself.  
  
'Poor kid. That damn monk had to go and take a leave on us! Doesn't he know how traumatized Goku is?!' The kappa thought angrily, his brotherly instincts kicking in, 'We're completely helpless. If we tried searching for him, we wouldn't know where to start. For all we know he continued west, or went back east, or north, or south, or-arrrggh!' Gojyo's solid fists collided with the table, collecting the stares of everyone in the area, except Goku.  
  
"Gojyo?" Hakkai questioned, blinking his green depths. Gojyo shook his head, gritting the teeth in his mouth. The red-haired half youkai stood up out of his seat in the essence of that of a frustrated person. The chair squeaked against the floor as Gojyo shoved it back in the table, stomping off to the exit. Hakkai immediately got up, "Gojyo!"  
  
"Gojyo's leaving too...and so are you Hakkai..." Hakkai's attention went back to the other youkai in his presence, eyes softening as he shook his head, "No, Goku. That's not true. Gojyo's just frustrated about Sanzo's absence. He'll be back." A crack burned itself within Hakkai's heart as boy turned his golden eyes away from him, as if he didn't believe him. The healer silently sat back down, picking at his food and taking bites here and there, hearing the whispers of the people in his ears.  
  
"Poor guy, having to deal with two nuisances like that."  
  
"Y'ah, I hear ya."  
  
Hakkai's eyebrows creased up. Where was Sanzo? If Sanzo were here, things would be back to normal as they can be and Goku would be feeling better. He just wanted to break down from all this.  
  
  
  
The rush of chemicals to his system was what Gojyo needed. The smoke trailing from his cigarette, Gojyo looked at the sunny sky. The clouds had parted, the trees and their leaves were dripping with tear drops. The kappa's feet settled against the soft dirt under him. It stopped raining, but Sanzo wasn't back even then. Hakkai was still down and Goku was low into dsyphoria it scared him. Even if he grinned, Hakkai would smile gently but Goku kept that forlorn look on his childish face. He hated it. Even though the kid could be annoying, he missed seeing him happy. It shattered his heart to see him becoming tied down to tragedy.  
  
A flash of white blinked before his vision, making Gojyo blink rapidly. The next thing he knew he was seeing white everywhere..hearing Sanzo? Even if he was, he couldn't hear very well what was been said to him.  
  
[weird dreams lately.....calling me......who-]  
  
Gojyo's eyes dilated into focus in time to see sakura blossoms floating from the sky. What happened? The trees weren't sakura trees a second ago..were they? He didn't remember them being such, was he dreaming? The kappa pinched himself on the arm, wincing. Nope.   
  
"Are you okay, Gojyo?" asked the gentle voice of Hakkai. Gojyo turned around and spotted the gloomy Goku behind the green cladded man. Gojyo sighed and shook his head, " I thought I heard Sanzo..It was freaky. Am I hallucinating, Hakkai?"  
  
"Sanzo?" Goku finally uttered. Both men looked the childish youkai in the back and followed him to where he stood in front of the middle sakura tree. Shock overtook both of them as they noticed a very familar monk tied to the trunk as if on a cross.  
  
"S-Sanzo!"  
  
The blonde's eyes were closed, head hung limp on his collarbone. He looked fine, but he seemed asleep, as if trapped in a dream. Goku was about to step forward when a gust of cherry blossoms collided with the three, forcing them to cover their face with their arms. The petals were soon gone, no traces of them were found. No trace of Sanzo either. Was it just an illusion? Goku ducked his head in his arms, tears creeping along his eyelashes. No no no! Sanzo...where did he go?! Why did he leave again?! Sparkles poured over his golden eyes. Sanzo...Goku didn't even care when he felt Hakkai wrap his arms around him, pulling his close to his chest. Gojyo frowned at the green leaves of the trees. It couldn't have been an illusion, they had all seen it. And now they'd all heard past words coming from 'his' voice.  
  
[I've been having weird dreams lately...Dreams of someone...calling me...]  
  
"Sanzo.." Goku sobbed out, clutching the cloth of Hakkai's shirt to his face.  
  
  
  
That night, Goku had trouble sleeping, but did after crying so much. Hakuryuu 'kyuu'ed softly, slowly rubbing his small head again Hakkai's cheek. The healer gently petted the white dragon, looking back at Gojyo who was watching Goku sleep.  
  
"I hate to say it, but he has it worst than us. He was closer to Sanzo. Sanzo meant everything to him."  
  
"I know. Poor kid. I wish I could do something. I just want to grab that damn monk and haul his sorry ass back here! Then...then Goku would smile again."  
  
"Never thought I'd hear that coming from you," Hakkai noted with an amused tone to his words. Gojyo just grinned, "It's not a crime to be worried now is it? Cause then you'd be in jail for life!"  
  
Hakkai chuckled and shook his head," It's nice you're worried Gojyo. I know you care."  
  
Gojyo snickered and brushed some hair away from Goku's eyes. The shorter one murmured slightly before shifting to his side. The kappa sighed and turned back towards Hakkai," I hate being left in the dark. I wish there was something we could do."   
  
"...Get some sleep Gojyo. I'll be going off too."  
  
  
Hakkai was having another sleepless night, but he wasn't going to let Gojyo know about it. It was good he and Goku shared a room together. Right now, the healer didn't want to sleep. He was too disturbed by today's events, he needed to keep his eyes open. Beside him on a pillowed chair, Hakuryuu slept, making soft 'kyuu's. Whenever Hakkai listened to the white dragon's sleeping, it made him smile again. But he couldn't hold that smile for long. The light in the room was still on. He didn't bother to shut it off. He was afraid he would see another illusion in the dark. Before it used to be of Kanan, when she reached over, grabbing his knife, sobbing out those painful words he just wished he could forget, and killed herself. This event was adding another wound to his spirit. He hated seeing people suffer. He couldn't help worry. He was afraid if he were too careless, his incident with Kanan could occur again.  
  
The loud thump against the door brought the brunette to his senses. Quickly, his feet made way over to the door and gasped at what he saw.  
  
Sanzo...  
  
Sanzo standing there, blood staining the front of his robes, the scarlet dripping down from the chakra on his forehead.  
  
And he stared at the brunette with eyes that almost seemed dead.  
  
  
TBC  
  
Must get Requiem. Must watch Requiem. 


	4. Holding My Thoughts in My Heart

Ionia - I get a piccu? Really? ^.^  
sf - An injured Sanzo is something I picture a lot so I wrote the image I recently had. So kakkoiiiii *__*  
  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
Chapter 3  
{Holding My Thoughts in My Heart}  
  
  
"Why won't he wake up, Hakkai?" The said man looked sadly down at Goku, watching in despair as the childish youkai's face fell when he claimed he didn't know. And it was true. He didn't know, but he wished he did. And those eyes, such souless eyes. They scared him as much as Kanan's death had scarred him. Goku broke his gaze with Hakkai and stared back down at the sleeping monk. The green claded man had removed his bloody robes and cleaned off the sticky substance from his head, but they had all seen he had...  
  
no wound.   
  
There was nothing, not even a trace of a scar. But even though he wasn't injured, the blonde refused to wake up.  
  
Goku leaned his upper body against Sanzo's chest, to hide the traces of fresh tears. He had to be strong. Sanzo would hit him for being so weak and insult him. The youkai choked on a sob. He couldn't help it. Sanzo didn't know how much this was to him. He couldn't hide his emotions. He didn't have to in that cave. He was alone. 'I was alone, Sanzo. Don't you remember? I can't be strong in holding my feelings like you'  
  
But now he was going to be alone again. He couldn't let that happen. Sanzo was getting so far away from him, it was killing him inside. He wanted to be by Sanzo. He didn't care if the monk had whacked him or yelled at him. This was the guy who freed him, he didn't want to abandon him. Where would he go otherwise? No where. Just back to the five finger mountain again.  
  
Goku didn't realize he was already crying again.  
  
  
"It's unusual. He was bleeding, I could swear it but I couldn't find any sort of injury on him, Gojyo."  
  
"I don't know what to say. Dammit. This is starting to become a real pain in the ass."  
  
"Kyuuuu."  
  
"We found Sanzo..or rather he found us. The saru's still sad," Gojyo noted, intendedly to himself. Hakkai gently touched Hakuryuu's small head, smiling. It was hard to tell whether the smile was forced or not.  
  
"Sanzo's not himself. It isn't the same."  
  
"Stop that. That smile. You don't have to pretend Hakkai."  
  
"Gojyo?" The said man turned his head towards the other, focusing his red eyes upon him, "Yeah. Nobody smiles forever Hakkai. Not even you. It's okay to frown. You can't help everything that goes on. You feel the same way I do."  
  
Hakkai didn't answer but let his smile fade as he turned back to Goku, who was losing himself in his tears. Flashes passed through his head. Kanan crying. Kanan grabbing his knife. And blood everywhere.   
  
'I can't change myself, even if I fool everyone in the world. I'm the same hopeless person I was back then.'  
  
Gojyo led his arm snake around Hakkai's shoulders, brushing his knuckles against Hakuryuu. Hakkai didn't look at him and didn't speak to him. It was frightening to Gojyo to hear all this silence. The healer couldn't comfort him anymore, it was more like vice versa. The monkey was having a silent breakdown. The monk was dead in his sleep. He felt so helpless like back then. His mother, or rather his step-mother was never pleased with him, always sobbing. Always crying her tears out when she looked at him as if saying, 'What a disgrace! Why me? Why? I wish he were dead!'  
  
What was he to do?  
  
Ignore it? He couldn't do that. It was hardly ignorable anyways.  
  
Hakkai looked back at him, "Maybe we should leave Goku alone for now."  
  
"Yeah"  
  
As the door closed softly, Goku kept saying, "Why won't you wake up? Please Sanzo, please! I'm begging you! Don't leave me alone! Sanzo! Sanzo!"  
  
But he didn't wake up.  
  
"Sanzo..please? I'll be good from now on, really! I won't bother you anymore if you do this for me! Please please please Sanzo!"  
  
Nothing  
  
"I'm sorry for all I did. Sanzo! Sanzo..." Lost in his tears, Goku didn't care that Sanzo couldn't even hear him. Maybe he was just hoping he did.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
[[Wake up]]  
  
[[Open your eyes]]  
  
[[and come to me]]  
  
When he woke up, no one was there.  
  
Sanzo grunted, pushing himself up to sit on the bed he was on. He remembered this room. It was his hotel room, or his current one at least. It was dark outside and everybody was probably downstairs eating. The blonde pulled the covers off his body, placing his bare feet on the red carpet. He stared at the door for a while, like he was deciding whether to step out or not. He wasn't really hungry to say, and he didn't feel like talking since he was sure the others were going to ask him what had happened. Even he didn't know. But his head hurt like hell and that was enough for him. Sanzo groaned and fell back against the bed, holding his pale fingers against the chakra on his forehead. For some reason it throbbed madly, and it felt like his brain was burning inside.  
  
Fuck  
  
He remembered seeing darkness and a pair of eyes staring at him. He couldn't remember why he went out and noted how empty he remembered feeling when he did. The faint sight of a clawed hand grabbing his forehead came back to him too. After that it was darkness until he woke up in the forest, his chakra spilling its essence over his face.  
  
Sanzo rolled over on his stomach. He couldn't understand what happened. He'd felt like an empty vessel for the past couple days. A puppet to be used. Sanzo growled under his breath. Dammit, he wasn't a puppet! He hated being used just as much as he hated the rain!  
  
The blonde sighed heavily, sifting his fingers through his hair. There's got be a reasonable explaination for this. It made him wonder if other people had days where they felt empty inside. He was pretty sure it didn't last for two fucking days! His violet eyes shifted to the smith and wesson on the table nearby. A bullet to the head, that would make him feel better. Just one fucking bullet. His hand outstretched and froze when the door opened and Goku stood there staring.  
  
  
"Sanzo..."  
  
  
TBC  
  
Incarcerated; Rain - Intending to bring you cliffhangers in every chapter(ain't I awful?) 


	5. Cheer Up

More depressy Goku? Who knows?  
  
  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
  
Chapter 4  
{Cheer Up}  
  
Sanzo let his arm drop back onto the mattress as Goku quickly walked over to his side. He decided it became annoying for the monkey to stare at him with those big, golden eyes of his. And he decided he should whack Goku once his palm touched his forehead. And he did just that..only with his hand. In the back of the priest's mind he wondered where his fan went to.  
  
"ITAI!" Goku fell back on the carpet floor, "Ne, Sanzo! What was that for?!"  
  
"Well you shouldn't have put your fucking hand on my head, dumbass ape!"  
  
"You're okay now, right?"  
  
"How the hell should I know?!"  
  
Goku whined, "But Saaaanzoo! What if you disappear again?"  
  
"I'm not going to disappear, you ape!"  
  
"Promise you won't leave me alone?"  
  
Sanzo sighed, "..No. I won't leave you alone. So stop asking that you idiot!" The blonde somewhat regretted his words as the youkai tackled him with a huge hug, rolling him over to his back. The brunette grinned and started ranting off words he couldn't even make sense of, "YessssthankyouomygodSanzoI'msohappy-"  
  
"Hanase!!"  
  
"Oh!" Goku let go and grinned sheepishly as the monk glared at him from off to the side of his head. The brunette sat down on the floor, holding the balls of his feet as he rocked back and forth, "Sanzo, what happened to you anyways? Where'd you go?"  
  
The blonde looked down at the waiting youkai and shook his head, "I'm not sure."  
  
"What what? You don't even know?"  
  
"Urusai! I can't remember much okay? Che..."  
  
Goku looked down, "Sanzo..sorry..."  
  
"Don't apologize." The priest sighed and got off the bed, only to be attacked by a wave of nausea. He wobbled on his feet, holding his head. Maybe his brain was frying in there. Sanzo gritted his teeth, so much wanting to curse the night away. But he didn't want to move at all, so instead he felt himself drop to the floor.  
  
"Sanzo!"  
  
  
  
"Goku hasn't been eating well..."  
  
"Hell, Hakkai. Anyone could tell. He didn't even eat off the whole menu. There's -something- wrong with the saru."  
  
"You know what it is Gojyo. We all do." The red head sighed, "Yeah, but sometimes I wished I didn't. Don't see what the saru sees in the monk. All I see is a bunch of shit." Hakkai smiled and shook his head, "Na, Gojyo. I know you see more than that."  
  
Gojyo gave the brunette a crooked grin, "Really?"  
  
"Really."  
  
"Well Mr. Smartass, if you're so intelligent, tell me what I ate for last night's dinner."  
  
"You had the special," Gojyo just laughed as the other chuckled.  
  
"I hope Sanzo's okay.." Hakkai murmured.  
  
"He'll be fine."  
  
And two pairs of eyes dilated as their senses started kicking in. Youkai... And indeed those senses were right as the windows all shattered into pieces, raining down upon everyone within the resturant. The screams were pushed into the back of their minds as youkai poured out from the windows.  
  
"Of all the times for me to leave Shaku-jou back in my room," Gojyo muttered angrily, rising from his seat as the youkai advaned towards the two of them.  
  
  
  
"Sanzo! Sanzo! Wake up!"  
  
Two violet eyes revealed themselves to stare into two gold and wide ones. Cursing under his breath, Sanzo shoved Goku away from his face, sitting up to hold his aching head. Goku came back at him, "Sanzo, are you okay?"  
  
"No fuck it! I'm not okay! My head..hurts like hell!"  
  
"Sanzo!" Goku gently touched at the monk's forehead. It wasn't even burning, and Hakkai had told him that whenever people's heads felt hot, they had a headache. But this was confusing him! Opening his mouth to say something, only small sounds came down, hinting at the despair settling within him. Sanzo gritted his teeth, wincing at the pain that stabbed at his mind over and over. That gun could suuure come in handy right now. Jerkingly, his hand reached up to the table, grabbing wildly at the gun up top.  
  
"Sanzo? Wha-what are you doing?!"  
  
Soon the excorism gun fell and cluttered to the floor. Deperately, Sanzo clutched the handle, finger settling on the trigger, raising the barrel to his head. Goku soon caught what the monk was going to do, crying out, he snatched the other's wrist, being dragged back and forth as the human tried to rip his grip away. The brunette was about to hold harder when the look in Sanzo's eyes made him freeze completely.  
  
Eyes that told him the blonde was suffering inside.  
  
Sanzo growled and pushed Goku back, the soft click of the gun bringing the youkai to his senses. The childish youkai thrust forward, "Sanzo, don't do it!"   
  
'You promised you wouldn't leave me!'  
  
[[Violets, in flower language, mean 'cheer up']]  
  
[[and you know what Konzen means?]]  
  
[[Konzen means, 'Mom will love you forever']]  
  
The window shattered..and youkai followed through inside.  
  
  
TBC  
  
Something is wrong with Sanzo-sama! o.o oy oy.... 


	6. Yami No Matsuei

You'll have to excuse this chapter("Please excuse chapter 5 from PE today for she is not feeling well"), because I'm bad at battle scenes. Oh! And excuse it from PE too! ^-^! Very short! Gomen!  
  
Kappa: Baka...  
  
  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
Chapter 5  
{Yami No Matsuei(Descendants of Darkness)}  
  
  
"We don't have to fight. You could just hand over the monk," seethed a youkai downstairs. Hakkai merely smiled, "I'm afraid we can't do that, so if you'll excuse me," a ki ball smacked into the demon, "I suggest you get ready to fight."  
  
"Hakkai, I don't know if I can last with only hand combat. I need to get upstairs," Gojyo muttered once his back was pressed against Hakkai's. The green claded man nodded, "I know. I do too. I need to check up on Sanzo and Goku. If Sanzo is still out and possibly youkai barged in like right now, I don't want to think about it."  
  
"The saru is one hell of a fighter, Hakkai. Don't worry so much. We have our own concerns right now." The kappa eyed the surrounding youkai that glared back at them, in stance, ready to jump at any sudden movement.  
  
"...Gojyo, after I fire this ki ball, you make a break for the stairs."  
  
"Wha-what?!" But the ball had already been fired, the size large enough to take out a portion of the demons. And Gojyo knew he had to leave when the man's emerald eyes pierced into him. 'I'm going to come back for you, Hakkai!' The red haired half-youkai raced for the upstairs, only to be attacked from the left with two pairs of claws that diminished as soon as they came from another ball of energy. It took a few seconds for Gojyo to regain his balance when he ran, blood dripping down to his leg and further to the carpet. He could feel the some of the youkai speeding after him when they thought the other was preoccupied, but they too were hit with a ki ball.  
  
  
With his wound making him a bit slower, it took longer than Gojyo would've wanted for him to reach his and Goku's room. With Shaku jou in his hand, he was about to make a break back to Hakkai, until he caught glimpse of the other room.  
  
  
The green claded man wondered what was taking Gojyo so long as he was starting to get weary. The huge ball he had previously fired took some out of him. Signs of his exhaustion were starting to show; he could tell by the way the leftover youkai were grinning.  
  
But he smiled anyways. Even when his blood ran down from his face.  
  
He carefully dodged the next blow coming at him, sarcificing the injury that nailed him in the collarbone. And the youkai were utterly confused at the smile that never faded.  
  
  
  
In Sanzo and Hakkai's room, Gojyo spotted the monk on the bed with blood flowing from his arm as the monk eyes looked glazed over. Nothing too surprising. But what shocked him was that Goku was crouched over the blonde like a predator keeping others away from his prey. The Smith and Wesson was like three feet away from the monk. Goku seemed like he was growling as well. But Gojyo couldn't help wonder why Sanzo was suddenly so helpless. The monk would never admit to that! He knew Sanzo well enough to know the monk would never succumb to his weakness.  
  
But now, it seemed Sanzo was letting himself get hit more often. What the hell was going on lately?  
  
[Someone..calling me...]  
  
[death]  
  
[rebirth]  
  
The youkai advanced closer to Goku who snarled in return, Nyoibou ready to be swung in one hand.  
  
[[Blood and bloody ashes]]  
  
[[Isn't that what this earth is filled with?]]  
  
[[We are all...]]  
  
[[Descendants of darkness]]  
  
  
Hakkai was already running out of energy. The youki had mangaged to spill blood over his arm and over to his side. Heavy pants left his dry mouth. He was so tired. He almost couldn't stand up, 'Gojyo! Where are you?!' The next ki ball he fired hardly fazed the youkai as it attacked at his neck. Hakkai struggled to unlatch the youkai off him, until a blur of white knocked into the youkai's head, making its claw retract.  
  
"Hakuryuu?!"  
  
"Kyuuu!" The small, white dragon was flung across the empty resturant, knocking into shards of broken glass. Hakkai's emerald eyes dilated, distracting him long enough for another youkai to attack him from behind.  
  
Scarlet rain.  
  
  
  
Sanzo felt empty again. He felt like that empty vessel that he was a couple days ago. And he was frightened in this darkness...  
  
because he couldn't snap out of it.  
  
He couldn't see anything, hear anything. All he saw was rain. All this rain pouring over his face, his skin, plastering his blonde hair to his face and neck, making him close his eyes.  
  
He hated rain so much.  
  
All this scarlet rain.  
  
  
[[I killed for you]]  
  
[[I suffer for you]]  
  
[[You belong to me]]  
  
  
TBC  
  
  
So sorry for short chapter! I really wanted to get this done because I need to do homework and I was feeling like writing today. What if I didn't feel like it tomorrow?! o_o Waaaah! Kappa! Revive plotting brain cells! 


	7. Don't Leave Me

Ionia - Yes, I do like Yami No Matsuei ^_^. I loved the translation of its title so much I used it for chapter 5. Tsu-chan's so kawaii! Do I get a picpic now?*tail wags*  
  
It's funny to listen to "Fly Me to the Moon" while thinking about Goku and Konzen*grin*, if you're a yaoi fan like me. Although, Incarcerated isn't yaoi, or isn't intended to be. Might be implications here and there for shounen ai(normally I don't have anyone kissing though ^^). I read a translation to vol. 1 of Gaiden and there were hints to certain pairings ^_^. Waaai.  
  
As for the what happened to Sanzo, t'was planned out to be revealed in chapter 6 ^^.  
  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
  
Chapter 6  
{Don't Leave Me}  
  
("That day the world collapsed leaving only me. The sky I looked up at was heavy and all its color had been silenced. I still don't know what happened to the sun that should have been shining there." - Stigma, Minekura Kazuya)  
  
Sanzo wouldn't wake up again.  
  
Why wouldn't he wake up?!  
  
When the youkai had bursted in the room, Sanzo fell unconsious, excorism gun falling away and further as a youkai had knocked it out of its path. But his eyes were wide open and he should've woken up when that certain youkai had opened a wound on his arm and kicked him back to where he landed on the bed. But he just kept staring. This was too frustrating, and why did it seem like everything was planned out? That youkai would've probably had been trying to eat Sanzo instead! But no... He wished to see a flicker of active awareness in those violet eyes that stared at absolutly nothing. Goku glared at the advancing demons, teeth bared more like a protective dog than a monkey as Gojyo and Sanzo had so called him. His hand gripped one side of his Nyoibou, preparing to strike, hoping to get at least one down, when a crescent blade went flying past his face and knocking in a few of the youkai.  
  
"G-gojyo?!"  
  
The red haired youkai gave him a lazy wink, but by the sudden shock on his face it seemed he had remembered something and ran back downstairs. To get Hakkai? If Hakkai was fighting alone or something...Stupid kappa! Goku decided he would pester him about it later. Right now, he had to protect Sanzo. Sanzo meant everything to him. Sanzo was his life.  
  
He didn't want to live without the blonde priest anymore. Blonde..like the sun.  
  
["Can you be the sun for that little child?"]  
  
He would die without him. Or at least go back to the life he couldn't or could barely remember. But he remembered it was horrible. That was convincing enough to him.  
  
["It shines...like the sun!"]  
  
"Sanzo..."  
  
("I still don't know what happened to the sun that should have been shining there")  
  
  
[[My hold on you...]]  
  
[[Will last forever]]  
  
  
  
His eyes were open, why couldn't he see anything? Did he die? No, he was still living, breathing. He recalled feeling the gun leaving his hand just as he was to pull the trigger and fainting. Or at least seeing nothing but this damn darkness! He couldn't even move a limb! What the fuck was going on?! That voice, always calling him, always attacking his mind. Fuck that too!  
  
("That day the world collapsed leaving only me")  
  
He felt as if his nerve cord had been cut off from the neck down. And he felt like he was floating, because he couldn't even feel the surface underneath him. Sanzo wanted to curse, drink, smoke, whatever. Anything to get away from this pertified darkness. Anything to get away from that voice. He would even settle for looking at the monkey when he woke up. That was an understatement. He'd settle for even looking at light!  
  
[[Kill him]]  
  
[[That child...]]  
  
And he felt his mind leaving him. All his thoughts washed away.   
  
[[Kill him now]]  
  
  
  
"Hakkai..I'm sorry. Dammit...even my words can't express what I feel....Ha-" Hakkai smiled at him, sitting against a wall, blood continuing to drip from his forehead, "Don't apologize, Gojyo. it's fine."  
  
"Hell, it's fine. Hakkai-you could've died!" Gojyo sighed, rubbing away at the blood on Hakkai's face with a wet towel. The healer's hand reached up to grab the cloth, when Gojyo put it back down, "Hakkai, don't strain yourself." The stench of dead youkai was filling the room, making Gojyo's insides twist. He had found Hakkai ready to take off his ear clasps when he came back, some youkai gone, some not. Hakkai probably took out maybe half of them while he was gone, but even half wasn't really much. A pang of gulit stuck his heart. Dammit, he shouldn't have been so snoopy on Goku and Sanzo! Then Hakkai wouldn't have turned out like this.  
  
"Gojyo..Hakuryuu's over to my left too...He's injured as well."  
  
"Hakuryuu?! Him too?!"  
  
"He tried to..fend off a youkai from fatally wounding me in the neck...please Gojyo..go find him." The red haired demon bit his lower lip and propped the arm of the other that seemed in better condition on the seat of a fallen chair, having the cloth in Hakkai's hand and pressed to his forehead, "I'll be right back, Hakkai."  
  
  
Gojyo ran over to see Hakuryuu 'kyuuing' softly, skin slightly bruised and cut from shards of broken glass. Carefully, Gojyo set the small dragon next to Hakkai who hadn't moved at all. But he was hurt too. His side had stopped bleeding but still hurt to touch even lightly. His shoulder was cut back to his shoulder blade. His skin was bruised from when he pushed through the youkai to Hakkai. Occasionally they had punched him along the way, hoping to stop him. The youkai were like an army today. An army against a group of four. Che...  
  
Gojyo silently wished for some wine.   
  
  
Youkai were piled on the hotel room's floor, blood spilling on the carpet. Goku had to leave Sanzo for a few minutes, but for some odd reason the youkai hadn't taken advantage of the situation. In fact, it didn't seem like much of a fight. A distraction actually..for what? Why would they need him to get away from Sanzo when they didn't even go after him? The youkai were planning something and Goku didn't like it at all! But that disappearance of his, the strange way he had been acting the past few days...His coma right now.   
  
"What's going onn~!?" Goku wailed to air.  
  
("That day the world collapsed leaving only me.")  
  
Goku turned around, only to be shocked to see Sanzo standing on his two feet. "Sa-Sanzo?!" His eyes were still so lifeless.  
  
("The sky I looked up at was heavy and all its color had been silenced.")  
  
The youkai watched in awe and confusion as Sanzo walked over to the Smith and Wesson, picking it up in one pair of white fingers.  
  
("I still don't know what happened to the sun that should have been shining there.")  
  
And Goku stared as the barrel was aimed at him.  
  
It was raining again.  
  
...  
  
Bang.  
  
  
TBC  
  
Repeating quotes are fuuuun!*topples over* 


	8. Blood and Bloody Ashes

Ionia - a pic of any of the Saiyuki boys is fine. But if you can, SanzoxGoku and GojyoxHakkai would be fine as well*grin*Or even better, KenrenxTenpou! Kya ha!*dies* But whichever suits you ^^  
  
Galford340 - Nice to know you despise voice-person ^_^*died from giggling too much; sweatdrop* also sorry about not being around when you imed. I don't expect people to come up and im me so I never put on the away message ^^;;;  
  
sf- What what? Me stop updating? Never! Since Summer is starting to smack me in the face and I'm becoming dehydrated easily(Ne, I fell asleep yesterday in the afternoon...) Kappa is working slower(Kappa: Oh shut up!). But since Requiem dvd is coming to me soon, it might help inspire me more ^_^  
  
Listened to Hakkai's theme and got inspired again. But the authoress is feeling like her skills are deteriorating by lack of reviews(all of her fics are fueled by reviews ne). Authoress is also planning another Saiyuki fic(Calling My Soul -GojyoxHakkai o.x) and another one-shot humor fic. Authoress would also like to refer herself as being called "Doc" for Sakura Blackwolf is too long.  
  
  
  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
  
Chapter seven  
{Bloody and Bloody Ashes}  
  
All Goku could see was white until the ceiling came into view. He felt warmth trickle down from his shoulder and saw smoke rise from a distance. Sanzo...Sanzo had shot him. His eyes strained to look over, seeing the hands that shook wildly, the heavy breath that escaped the blonde's lips. Had his aim been more steady, he would have been shot in the lungs. Why did Sanzo shoot him? Did Sanzo hate him? Was he worthless now?  
  
Sanzo didn't need him anymore. Wasn't that right?  
  
Goku let his head fall back against the carpet that rot of decaying youkai flesh. Sanzo didn't care. Sanzo wanted him dead, And he just wanted him to be happy. He would do anything to see the monk's eyes fill with happiness. His death would be one of those moments where that would happen, right? He couldn't see over his chest. Couldn't see anything but the ceiling in which he wished were the sky. But in that sky the sun wouldn't be there now would it? His sun was gone. He couldn't see his sun anymore.  
  
His sun was losing himself.  
  
And he himself was losing his consiousness.  
  
  
  
  
He felt his thoughts refill his brain again. What happened? First he was going to shoot himself, then the window bursted open, he was hit in the arm and shoved back against the bed again...and now he was standing with his gun in his hand? What the fuck?! Sanzo shook his head, eyes catching sight of the fading smoke that came from his side. The room smelt of rotting flesh and dead youkai. And where the hell was the monkey? His insides were twisting as the raw smell continued to invade him senses. Finally he lifted his violet irises and saw Goku lying on the carpeted floor, wounded by what seemed like a bullet, his own blood staining him and the ground. He didn't seem to get up..or seem to want to get up.  
  
Did he shoot him?  
  
He couldn't remember!  
  
Sanzo stepped closer to the bleeding youkai. Goku's eyes were half-lidded; The blonde couldn't even see the pupils in those golden depths anymore. Was..he dead?  
  
[[He's still alive...kill him..!!]]  
  
The monk raised his gun again, aiming for the chest, but then Gojyo decided to run in.  
  
"Sanzo..?! What the hell are you doing?!"  
  
Sanzo immediately swerved around, nearly getting Gojyo in the neck but missing by a hair with those fingers that shook and stuttered, the sweat that dripped down the monk's face and down his hands. The half-youkai stepped forward, face set straight as much as he could. And the monk just stared, looking chaotic with a maelstorm of only amethyst in those eyes. Soon the other was within arm's length, ready to give the monk a huge complaint, "Sanzo, where the hell do you get off trying to kill Goku?! I can't be-"  
  
Gojyo was shot in the collarbone, a cry that seemed to echo escaping his lips. Youkai and human blood spilled over Sanzo's face and ran down to his neck as he watched the other fall back like his companion.  
  
[[Kill them..Kill them all! Don't let anyone stand between you and me!]]  
  
A drop of blood trailed down from one of Sanzo's violet eyes, something that could have passed as a tear.  
  
But Sanzo never cried...right?  
  
  
  
He could see what he was doing this time. He saw the bullet of the excorism gun nailing Gojyo, the blood that came back at him. But he couldn't move, or he tried to but could only shake his hands a little, which was probably why the monkey and the kappa weren't dead. Someone was controlling him to kill anyone who stood in his way. That same person who called him over a couple days ago and reached out to the chakra on his head. He watched as his body was carried down the hall, catching sight of the injured Hakkai and the hurt Hakuryuu from the corner of his eye. They were so still it was frightening. His feet carried him away from the ruined resturant and out the door to where the trees were blossoming fake sakura petals again.  
  
It wasn't raining anymore.  
  
So why did he still feel sad?  
  
[I see you reaching out to me]  
  
  
Along the unmarked way, youkai occasionally jumped him, only to be reflected back and to explode into ashes by the barrier that had bulit up around him, healing his arm and protecting him from basically anything. Although Sanzo wished he would get hit. That would mean he would stop. He'd rather be on the floor than on his feet to somewhere he didn't even know. Sanzo wanted the unreal blossoms to stop falling. Wanted himself to stop walking and hoped he would just collaspe. Wanted the barrier to fall back. His ankles ached, he was becoming dehydrated, his side was cramping up. Heavy pants fell out of his mouth, desperately trying to form words to curse the hell he currently was in.  
  
[[Do you remember loving me?]]  
  
The path was no longer unmarked.  
  
Miles of land stained with blood and bloody ashes.  
  
  
  
Goku awoke, eyes wide at the ceiling, as if expecting to see the barrel of a gun fire right when he woke up. But all he saw was the golden light of the hotel room. The youkai sat straight up on the bed he found himself on, jolts of shock running through his nerve system when he spotted Kanzeon Bosatsu waving at him from the other side of the room. To her side was a young brunette girl who looked frighteningly like Hakkai and a male, perhaps older than Sanzo and the chakra on his forehead that said he was a monk.  
  
"Hi-ya Goku-chan!"  
  
"K-Kanzeon..!"  
  
"...Stop making so much noise saru...." Goku's gaze shifted to the half-asleep Gojyo on the bed next to him, Hakkai still as the dead on the other side. The youkai looked back at Kanzeon who just grinned.  
  
"Naaa, what..what's going on?"  
  
"Wellll basically because of divine interference neither you, nor they are dead." Goku blinked at the words said to him, poking and prodding at the bullet wound that should have been there, but wasn't. The youkai's attention averted back to the hermaprodite and the people around her, "Neee, who are they?"  
  
The male stepped forward, making a slight bow, "Koumyou Sanzo."  
  
"Naaa, but he can't be Sanzo because Sanzo is Sanzo!"  
  
"I was a previous Sanzo, Goku-san," Koumyou smiled a Hakkai smile.  
  
"Previous Sanzo? There's more than one Sanzo? So confused..."Goku scratched his head until the female cleared her throat.  
  
"I am Cho Kanan. Pleasure you meet you Son Goku!"  
  
"You look like Hakkai!"  
  
Kanan giggled, "I'm 'Hakkai''s sister, ne."  
  
"But Hakkai said..."  
  
"I thought I told you to be quiet, saru!" Gojyo growled under his breath, lifting the upper portion of his body and rubbing at one of his eyes. The kappa looked lazily at the heavenly beings, "It's like a party that was never intended to happen," and then he laid back down on the mattress next to the healer who was blissfully unaware of the unexpected company.  
  
"Ero-kappa! Don't you wanna know who they are?!"  
  
"No. Too tired."  
  
"And where's Sanzo?!"  
  
"How the hell should I know?!"  
  
"You would know!"  
  
"Nuh-uh!"  
  
"Yuh-huh!"  
  
"Maaa, stop bickering you two," Hakkai murmured before turning on his side. Gojyo hmphed and Goku pouted. Kanan smiled at them.  
  
"But where is Sanzo?"  
  
"Nee, Goku-chan. I don't know honestly. I can't track him everywhere you know," Kanzeon sighed, twirling a lock of dark hair on her finger.  
  
"Well I'm not going anymore west..without him..."  
  
{-----Miles of land stained with blood and bloody ashes}  
  
  
TBC  
  
Guh, I hate heat. And I hate being sick. Koumyou and Kanan's roles in this will be revealed next chapter, naa. 


	9. Existence

sf - Saiyuki fandom is reaaaallly quiet, naaa. And as for longer chapters, I could've made seven longer, but I purposely cut it short*grin* Eh..besides I needed to do a little research on Jiroshin and Kanzeon and I couldn't wait so I snipped it! Kya ha! But my original stuff tends to be longer ^^ because I have to explain things.  
  
Ionia -*screams*Oh my god! I love your picture! That's so cuuuute~!(Don't let go Goku-chan*grin* ::Sanzo::*sweatdrop*) Of course I'll keep writing ^_^.  
  
By the way, some plans for Incarcerated; Rain are sometimes talked about in my blog(located at the bottom of my ff.net bio).   
  
And Koumyou will be called Koumyou because calling him Sanzo is too confusing o.o. And there's something about Sanzo's theme that's so alluring-it's freaky!  
  
  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
Chapter Eight  
{Existence}  
  
("I can't let Sanzo die!"( Most important thing to you ) - Goku, Volume 6)  
  
"Jiroshin, well? Did you find Sanzo?"  
  
Jiroshin shook his head, "No, but I found an path that most likely leads to him."  
  
Goku sprung up immediately, "Tell me!"  
  
Jiroshin stared in awe at the youkai(wasn't he supposed to be injured?) before clearing his throat, "The path I found looked like a mass murder had occured. There was blood everywhere. Youkai blood to be exact. And sakura blossoms started blooming. They don't bloom until next month."  
  
"Sakura blossoms...We saw those the first time Sanzo was gone," Gojyo murmured.  
  
"What does this mean though?"  
  
Kanzeon sighed, "I can't answer that. Anyways, you guys have to go look for him. We're not even supposed to be here, but well...I couldn't help it okay? Kanan and Koumyou agreed to help you. If you guys got beat up like that, you're going to need more people on your side. Hakkai can't heal all the time and he obviously can't do too much in his condition right now."  
  
Hakkai muttered in his sleep, before bringing the blanket closer to his shoulders, catching the undivided attention of a certain half-youkai. Gojyo slipped out of the bed and with a flick of the wrist gave his side of the blanket over to the other man, who in return just slept. Red irises looked up, "Well, saru, you up to it?"  
  
"Of course cockroach kappa! I can't believe you have to ask that!"  
  
"You're a lot more energetic than you were a couple days ago. Before you just moped around."  
  
"It's different now," Koumyou murmured, " He knows he can find him."  
  
Goku looked down,"It..is different but..I could've saved him. I should've protected him better! If I did, then he wouldn't be gone! I want to protect Sanzo. Sanzo's everything to me. I don't care about anything else right now. I want him back..."  
  
[Thinking of you, wherever you are]  
  
  
  
Gojyo watched silently as Kanan looked out the window and then back to Hakkai once everyone was away from the room. Today, or rather this night was certainly odd. Even he didn't feel like womanizing at all. Maybe it was because he was worried? Sure, he knew he was worried for Hakkai but also Goku, and maybe even Sanzo. The red haired youkai mentally shook his head. It's not important right now.   
  
Kanan chose that moment to speak up,"How long have you known Gonou?"  
  
"..A few years. Why?"  
  
"It's nothing." Kanan was a lot more distant than Hakkai. But then again, Hakkai was just hiding behind a smile that was fake most of the time.  
  
'Looking at Hakkai's smiles were just as painful as looking at Goku a couple days ago. That smile..that never reached his eyes at all.'  
  
"Nothing?"  
  
"Right." This conversation, if you could call it that, was getting nowhere. Sighing, Gojyo went after Koumyou and Goku, leaving Kanan alone with the sleeping healer. As the door closed, Kanan let her fingers drift over the monocle on Hakkai's right eye. The night was entirely silent. It was becoming unerving. But looking at what Gonou had become..or seemed to become... She shook her head, letting her bangs brush along her forehead and withdrew her hand, lacing it over her braid.  
  
"You never changed yourself. For how long did you fool these people?" With that laugh, that smile.  
  
"That's right. I'm still the same hopeless person," Kanan's emerald eyes dilated as she ended up looking into the one visible iris and pupil that was her brother's and her lover's, "The one who never had true love for anyone. The same person who cannot love anyone. Isn't that right, Kanan?"  
  
"Gonou..."  
  
  
Gojyo found Goku staring at Koumyou, who in return just stared back. Goku's eyes looked around the man's face, even to the outfit he wore. It wasn't the same. Everything was still so incrediblely awkward. He wasn't even sure if he had to call this man, Sanzo. Whenever he said Sanzo he would always be seeing the familar blonde with the violet irises, but now he was looking at a brunette with a long braid. This wasn't right! At least to him.  
  
"Saru, didn't the monk ever teach you not to stare?"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
Koumyou laughed and looked at Gojyo, "It's fine. I know this is very different for all of you."  
  
"Y..you're not trying to replace Sanzo are you?" The brunette human gazed back into the youkai's golden eyes. He could see the fear laced in them, the huge hope that the answer was no. He only smiled and walked away.  
  
"Naaa?"  
  
"Man, he's right. It ain't the same without the damn monk!"Gojyo sighed and scratched his head, "This is gonna be one hell of a trip."  
  
"H-He's can't take Sanzo's place! That don't allow that! Right? And..and he's already dead anyways!"  
  
"I don't know, saru. God this is frustrating. I'm not cut out for this!"  
  
"I want Sanzo..."  
  
"......Yeah."  
  
  
  
"Well, Kanan? Isn't it?"  
  
Kanan stayed silent, watching Hakkai as he lifted himself off the bed, bandages loose around his wounds and dirty with blood. The girl soon found it frightening just to look in his eyes that bulid up so much coldness in them she couldn't stand it.  
  
"Can't look your own brother in the eye? Before you used to be able to look at me. Was it because I was your lover? Am I now just your brother, Kanan?"  
  
"No Gonou, you don't understand..."  
  
"Then make me understand."  
  
There was only silence. Hakkai smiled, but that was only a smirk. He felt like Gonou again. He didn't need to hide anything. He could be bitter if he wanted to. He was Cho Gonou, the one who could never love, never truly smile; the one who sinned a thousand times by killing a thousand youkai.   
  
"Why did I kill all those youkai, Kanan? I'm sure you would know about that."  
  
Kanan's fingers nervously gripped at her braid, "Um..you were mad."  
  
"Why was I mad?"  
  
"Because...I killed myself."  
  
"Hmmmm."  
  
  
Koumyou gazed out the window, watching the humans crowd around the bloody path, "We're going to save you, Kouryuu."  
  
And the fake sakura blossoms continued falling at his feet.  
  
  
  
"Killing a thousand for one. It sounds stupid doesn't it, Kanan?"  
  
"Gonou..."  
  
Hakkai stopped looking at her and walked around behind the girl, taking off his bandages. His reunion with Kanan should be happy like all lover's reunions were, but now he was ready to break her now. What the hell was going on with him? Why was he suddenly bitter to his sister and lover? Kanan sniffled. Hakkai knew she was trying to hold back tears that he was causing.  
  
"I'm sorry I made you suffer like this Gonou. I really am! I didn't want it to be like this! I-I couldn't help myself! I was devastated! Gonou!"  
  
"A little late on apology, aren't you Kanan?" Hakkai's eyes softened a little, forcing himself not to look as Kanan rubbed at her eyes. Maybe his heart was aching the same as well and he didn't know it.  
  
"Gonou, please. I know it's been years since, but I'm still hurting over it! Gonou!"  
  
Hakkai shook his head, not taking one look before he had left the room.  
  
  
Gojyo and Goku were still there in the hallway once he emerged. He didn't even try smiling this time, which immediately made the other two worried because it seemed unusual..even if some of those smiles were fake. Hakkai looked at each of them before shoving past Gojyo down the opposite way Koumyou had left. The red haired youkai looked after at the man's back, before starting off after him, "Hakkai?!"  
  
Goku blinked and raced after, "Wait, Gojyo!"  
  
"Goku, you stay here!" The youkai blinked again and halted with the back of his heels, "Um..Okay."  
  
  
  
{Be there------}  
  
  
A pair of unnaturally bright violet eyes looked out to the forest, hands wrapped around the exposed flesh of Genjo Sanzo. A long fingernail that could've been a claw trailed over the blonde's chest, absently brushing at his sleeping face. Long, golden hair spewed from the figure's head, pouring over Sanzo's shoulders like a waterfall.  
  
The bloody path was drying up, the sakura trees were fading away.  
  
"I won't let anyone take you from me, my child. No one can."  
  
  
{----and I'll be waiting for you}  
  
  
"Hakkai, what's wrong with you?"  
  
"I hated the rain. But yet in some ways I liked it too. The rain always hid my tears."  
  
"Hakkai..."  
  
  
  
Koumyou watched as the blossoms landed and died in shrivels. A hand went up to brush the long brunette hair away from his eyes as he looked down the pathway and to the mountains where traces of it disappeared. And yet in some ways he felt was being watched. Not by humans, by violet eyes. Not Kouryuu's. Someone else's. Koumyou didn't say anything as Goku walked up behind him, followed by Kanan, who just looked down at her feet.  
  
"That's the path we're taking?"  
  
"Yes. Gather Gojyo and Hakkai. We should leave now before the blood is absorbed by the earth."  
  
Hakuryuu floated by and perched onto Goku's shoulder before Kanan spoke up, "Gonou..is having some difficulties right now." Goku shuffled his feet, letting his fingers pet the small dragon and letting his thoughts wander.  
  
'I feel different. I know I can find him now, I still don't feel as happy as I normally would. Is it because...I can lose him forever this time?'  
  
What was life without a sun?  
  
  
  
"We should get back to others. We need to look for the monk."  
  
Hakkai wrapped his hands around his arms, "I know...but I just feel like...I can't go on. Not like this. I feel so gulity that inside I have this feeling that I wouldn't care if Sanzo was gone. I don't want to feel that way and I didn't realize I felt like such about this until Kanan came back and awakened Gonou. Am I a sadist?"  
  
"You're Cho Hakkai. You're not Gonou anymore. Gonou is dead."  
  
  
TBC  
  
I'm mean. I make the boys go through all these conflicts ^^. Ah well. 


	10. Gradually Fading

mmm, got Requiem(full-fleged rant in blog). If the series is that flashy and has that many typos in the subtitles(Golan was Gonou*dies laughing*), I'd rather wait for the dub, even if it's called whatever. Ah..but I cannot the deny the fact Hakkai, Gojyo, Sanzo(*dies*), and Kou sounded absolutly incredible *_*  
  
Ionia - Yes! More pics! Wheee! Most preferably the Sanzo and Goku scene in the prologue here, but as long as it's the saiyuki boys, I'm very very content with any image ^__^  
  
sf - "Just for a little while, and then I'm gonna leave again and make you angst!" "Nooo! Anything but that! Kaaaanaaan!" Aaa, I feel better now ^_^  
  
Kinda funny how I planned this out to be Sanzo-centric..but it's like..not ^^;;  
  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
Chapter Nine  
{Gradually Fading}  
  
  
Hakkai sighed, wiping the fresh water off the bench behind him before sitting down. He removed his monocle, rubbing at his right eye, " I don't know, Gojyo." Gojyo frowned and did likewise, crossing his legs over and tilting his head towards the sky that was previously crying. Crying for what? Sometimes the planet would cry and he wouldn't even know why.  
  
"What don't you know?"  
  
"Everything."  
  
[Cherry blossoms...]  
  
Gojyo sighed and tilted his head to the side before lifting his upper body. Hakkai choked on his breath as he was pulled close by the closest arm of the half-youkai. Gojyo absently rested his head in Hakkai's hair, watching the sakura blossoms fall.  
  
[falling like rain]  
  
[imprisoned in cherry blossoms]  
  
"Boku wa...sado?"  
  
Gojyo's eyebrows narrowed upward, holding Hakkai tighter in his grasp.  
  
"No... You're not a sadist, Hakkai. That part of you is dead already." 'Isn't that what you said three years ago?'  
  
[incarcerated in rain;]  
  
"...Don't know..really. I don't know what to do, Gojyo."  
  
  
  
Sanzo hurt all over. Especially his feet. In fact they were throbbing from pain. He had walked far and halfway across he had closed his eyes..to escape reality? To finally admit to pain. That was not like Genjo Sanzo at all. Sanzo stubbornly shut his eyes again. This was all a dream wasn't it? When he would wake up, he would be back in that stinkin' hotel room and that bakazaru would be hanging over him again as always. In the back of his mind however, he didn't want to open his eyes and admit to being wrong. Sanzo hated it when he was wrong.   
  
'What are you so afraid of? Don't be an idiot!'  
  
The blonde's eyes snapped wide open as a cold touch awaken all the nerves, running down his spinal cord and its branches. Two pairs of violet eyes stared down at him, so bright they may as well had glowed in the dark. Long golden hair glittered around the female who had approached him. He could see the curiousity in her eyes and the golden bangle on her forearm; the two rings that were set upon her necklace, one bigger than the other.  
  
"Who..are you?" He wanted to say actually, 'Who the fuck are you?! What the hell am I doing here?!', but he was too tired and dehydrated. He even had to strain on those three words. The woman removed her hand from his cheek, running a long fingernail to the chakra on his forehead. Sanzo also hated it when he was shaken with surprise.  
  
"....You..."  
  
"You don't remember seeing me, but I know you." She looked like him as well. If she were a male, her voice would be like his, "I've been watching you for some time."  
  
"You..didn't answer..my question, dam-" Sanzo coughed violently, finally noticing the chains around his wrists as they rattled when he reflexsively moved his hands to his mouth..or tried to. The woman caressed the chakra, not paying any attention to Sanzo's obvious lack of water.  
  
"My dear, dear child. I've finally got you back."  
  
[But I never had a family...]  
  
"You'll never leave me again."   
  
Sanzo choked on his breath as the finger penetrated his chakra. He wasn't hurt physcially on the head, but his mind was hurting as much at his body was now. His mind was being invaded again. For what? Why did she need to take his mind over again?  
  
Never leave...  
  
Sanzo blacked out.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Oi oi! Why the gloomy looks?! We're going aren't we?" Gojyo grinned, an arm slung around a smiling, fake or not, Hakkai's shoulder. Koumyou smiled back, nodding as Hakuryuu flew off the green-claded man's shoulder to turn into a jeep again. Goku blinked in confusion, before looking back at the mountains again. Gojyo frowned.  
  
"Saru! You're such a downer!" Damn, he never thought he would say that one day.  
  
"Aa..Don't call me monkey!" the youkai pouted as the half-youkai just laughed, letting go of Hakkai as Kanan started to walk over to him.  
  
  
"Gonou..."  
  
"You don't have to say anything, Kanan," Kanan looked away to her feet as Hakkai passed by her.  
  
And for a brief second she knew he was faking that smile again.  
  
Kanan sighed and followed after her brother, catching the sympathetic look from Koumyou. She shook her head and climbed in the back with Gojyo and Goku. The brunette former Sanzo climbed into the front. This scenario was almost familar. Maybe vaguely to be precise. Hakkai looked at Koumyou, too used to the same routine that he was shocked to see an entirely different man sitting there in a Sanzo outfit. He held back his voice from saying, ' Shall we go, Sanzo?' and swallowed it.  
  
"What are you waiting for, Hakkai? Iku zo iku zo!" Goku called over energeticly. The said man smiled bitterly to himself. Goku was like an enigma, especially in this situation. He had his ups and downs(mostly downs in this). And sometimes he would swear the childish youkai was faking his happiness. They had lost Sanzo once before, what made this any different? Hakkai wished he could emphasize with Goku. But wasn't what that conversation with Gojyo was about? Did he truly not care at all?   
  
But Hakkai was too distracted to notice he had already started driving and was turning into a nearby tree. All his nerves reawakened as he swung the wheel in the opposite direction, saving from all from an uncalled for crash.  
  
"Ano..uh..gomen nasai?" The green-claded man laughed nervously as Gojyo groaned, Goku blinked, Kanan caught her breath, and Koumyou smiled again.  
  
"Please, Hakkai, don't do that again."  
  
  
  
"'You just couldn't help helping them'? Kanzeon-sama, you just couldn't bear to let them die wasn't it? You had to go down there again and help them, didn't you?"  
  
"..I am the Goddess of Mercy after all, Jiroshin. They cannot die just yet. Now is not the time," Kanzeon lifted her fingers to gently touch her eyelids, murmuring to herself and trailing off on her words "Born with the essence of heaven..."  
  
"Kanzeon-sama...?"  
  
  
  
[There go my chains, can't you see them falling?]  
  
Sanzo groaned, lifting his arm to his eyes. The chains were gone. It didn't matter however. It didn't mean he got to go free. His wrists were sore and bloody, his legs still ached, and his head was hurting again like a bitch. His black shirt was ripped in several different places, his jeans loose around his hips. Sanzo grunted, peering with blurry eyes at the bars on the cell.  
  
That woman, Celphia, she gets angry when she doesn't have her way.  
  
  
("You're going to live here from now on. You're going to stay with me."  
  
"If you're ordering me, I would rather bite my own tongue and die.")  
  
  
When he woke up, he was in this cell, he was given water. But she..she called him Konzen. Why? And she was angry at him too. Really angry. He would be able to handle a woman's rage, but this was different somehow. She was human, wasn't she? He released a low sound, touching over the wound on his stomach that was still sticky and warm with blood.  
  
Fuck, he seriously needed a cigarette.  
  
  
Kanan gazed behind her, catching sight of the robes, the sutras, the gun, and the fan in the back. He had left without them, Kanan knew they were important. He wouldn't have left without them. That was insane. She looked over to Goku who was sleeping to the side and to Hakkai, who kept his eyes straight on the dirt and blood path.  
  
Did Gonou still hate her? No that couldn't be true. Kanan looked up when Gojyo swung at arm around her shoulders, looking out at the side and avoiding her gaze(she found that weird). She sighed, touching the cross around her neck. She used to believe a cross would protect her. Of course, she found out only a few years ago that wasn't true. And she was pretty sure Gonou didn't want to talk to her now. A cross wouldn't save her from his bitter words either.  
  
[[And slowly they will break down. The first, the most vunerable in his mind]]  
  
  
All hell broke loose when Hakkai collasped against the wheel.  
  
  
"GONOU!!"  
  
  
TBC  
  
This should've been longer. Aa..I had a different scene planned out to be the end, but...no ^^. Longer chapter next time! Promise! 


	11. Beginning of a Nightmare

sf - Ah, but cigarette now, booze later ^_^. And since school will be out in like a few days, I shall have more time on my hands to update incarcerated!  
  
Aa, how embarassing was it that I read part of chapter 3 for English ^^;;  
  
'The Distance' by Evan and Jaron is -the- Sanzo and Goku song! I swear to Kannon-sama!  
  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
  
Chapter Ten  
{Beginning of a Nightmare}  
  
"You love me."  
  
"No I don't."  
  
"You always have."  
  
"I don't know you."  
  
"I'm your mother."  
  
"No...You aren't."  
  
Sanzo chewed on his lower lip as Celphia was literally standing over him. He was too tired to get up. He had too much pain to move. So now this was what he had become? A priest who can't even defend himself? Celphia kicked him in his gut again with those metal tipped boots, staining the leather on her boots with fresh blood. Sanzo didn't bother giving her a reaction.  
  
This made her even more angry.  
  
She kicked him over and over, even in the spots that had begun to bruise and cut. Sanzo's eyes were closed now. Fuck, just let him die already! The blonde woman's hair seemed to flare around her, and her eyes were amethyst daggers. Sanzo didn't care though. Celphia was enraged. But the monk did open his eyes when his side was slashed.  
  
Celphia glared down at him, knocking him over to his stomach as she left the cell and snapped the lock shut. Sanzo groaned, lazily rolling on his back. Gently he prodded the new and old wounds, the scratches, and the bruises that marred his pale skin. Running his fingers against the tatters of his shirt, Sanzo coughed up a small amount of scarlet. He hissed, unable to form any sort of word in his mouth.  
  
She came back within the next few hours.  
  
It didn't seem like she acknowledged all the pain she made him go through  
  
Or it didn't seem like she cared.  
  
  
Celphia looked back at the locked cell after twenty minutes of being inside. She sighed, fingering the biggest of the two rings on the chain that graced her neck. Petting it with soft pale skin and nails that were a shade of purple like her eyes. Sanzo didn't look at her, only the ceiling. That was all he really looked at most of the time. The blonde woman shook her head, rustling her long billowing hair and walked away in echoing footsteps.  
  
("I -am- your mother.")  
("Could've fooled me.")  
("You bastard!")  
  
[[Doesn't he know? Why doesn't he believe me?]]  
  
Celphia closed the prison door.  
  
"A thousand for one, just to find you."  
  
Sanzo stayed silent for hours and hours.  
  
  
  
  
Goku bit his bottom lip, watching the other four around the flare of a campfire. He couldn't stayed here! But they were held back when Hakkai was knocked out somehow. Hakuryuu was stabbed against a piece of tree trunk that stuck out. Hakkai had nailed the tree as well, taking a hit to the back of the neck. So now they were here in the middle of God knows what. But Goku wanted to go! He was bouncing all around the camp, ready to run away. But he couldn't abandon Hakkai.  
  
Hakkai was with them though. Sanzo wasn't.  
  
"Oi, baka. If you're thinking of moving on, forget it. I sure as hell don't want to find you dead by the time we get there."  
  
"I'm not going to die!"  
  
"Says who?!"  
  
"Says me!"  
  
"Bakazaru!"  
  
"Ero-kappa!"  
  
"C-  
  
"Please be quiet for Gonou and Hakuryuu," Kanan murmured. Gojyo let his breath release and sighed, muttering a whatever before leaning against the fresh grass. Hakuryuu was too tired to change into jeep so they could get their stuff, so the ground would have to do. A ground with dried blood, but it's something. Koumyou prodded at the fire with a stick, seeming to be lost in thought as his body repeated the same motion over and over. It seemed simple enough. Drive back to the mountains to rescue Kouryuu, but someone has expected this. Was it those eyes he saw? Amethyst irises glaring at him from afar. But it was only a feeling. Yet Koumyou always trusted his instincts.  
  
  
  
Sanzo's eyes burned into the dank ceiling. Is this all he was going to be seeing the rest of his life? God, end it now. The blonde slowly moved into a dark corner near the bars, biting at his torn lip. He felt so weak. Like a weak and helpless human. Fuck. Sanzo's lips thinned out. He wasn't that at all. Maybe just this once though... Sanzo let the shadows overtake him, as if to disappear from the world when Celphia came back into the room of cells. Dead to the world. That's what he wished he were right now.  
  
Don't tell the pain get to you. Just let it kill you.  
  
And you'll die a silent death.  
  
"You love me."  
  
"How can I possibly?"  
  
  
Goku slept in long. Really long, even for him. But he didn't snore or anything. That's why Gojyo was so worried. And Hakkai had just woken up, going on about how he swore he saw a woman who looked like Sanzo. A woman with purple eyes was rare. The only human with purple eyes they knew on the planet was the monk. All the other Buddhist monks would sometimes say Sanzo got his eyes from heaven when he became a Sanzo. But Hakkai said it was weird. She was going on and on about how he was taking Konzen away from her.  
  
("You took Konzen away from me.")  
("Who?")  
("Don't be an idiot. You know.")  
  
Gojyo sighed as he watched Hakkai rub at his bruised neck. Someone was laughing at this. Someone was-but it probably wasn't who they thought it was.  
  
Later Goku woke up, but he was crying again. Neither of them could remember the last time Goku cried except for when Sanzo disappeared. Gojyo hated it when he cried. Seeing people cry always hurt. Seeing people cry reminded him of -that- time. They all crowded around him as Goku confessed -his- dream. But to Goku it must've been too much like reality. Dreams like to fool people that way.  
  
"Sanzo doesn't want me anymore."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"He said so himself."  
"What?"  
"He said so himself. Sanzo. Istudemo reiketsu na no?"  
  
Are you always so coldhearted?  
  
  
Sanzo's eyes were dull as trimmed purple nails felt over his skin. They were emotionless and a maelstrom of violet as she bent over him and kissed at his tattered lip. Don't look at her. She isn't there. She kissed him again, gently then forcefully, digging her nails into the flesh of his shoulders. Sanzo shut his eyes as a hand moved down over his chest. This isn't happening. It's only a dream. Sanzo sure as hell wished it were only a dream.  
  
[[I broke the final you - Am I a sadist?]]  
  
  
"Goku, that's not true."  
  
"It is. He told me."  
  
"But Sanzo isn't here."  
  
"He said so."  
  
"Do you have proof it was Sanzo?" Goku blinked at Koumyou who stared at him with dulling eyes. The youkai looked down at the ground as Gojyo shook his head.  
  
"Saru, don't jump to conclusions. It's apparently bad for that empty skull of yours," The half-youkai ruffled the other's hair before walking away to look at the sky. Goku hugged his arms, holding his cape closer to him. Kanan glanced at him, eyebrows lifting as sympathy flooded her emerald irises. She finished the new bandage on Hakuryuu, walking over to the crest-fallen youkai.  
  
"That wasn't all I dreamt about, were it a dream."  
  
Kanan pulled Goku closer to her, "Tell me about it."  
  
"There was a woman with him. She looked like him. The same eyes. The same color hair. She said I was poison to Sanzo. She said I didn't deserve to be with him."  
  
[[ Pieces and pieces. They'll all break ]]  
  
"She said he was better off where he was."  
  
"Let's go."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"We don't know for sure. Let's go. We'll travel by foot!" To make her point, Kanan stood up and stomped her foot on the ground of dried and fading blood. Goku blinked, before a smile grace his lips, "Yeah!"  
  
"We're going to find Sanzo! And if he wants to stay..well..he'll stay!"  
  
"I don't think Sanzo'll stay anyways," Hakkai smiled, coming back to the group with Gojyo," Sanzo would want to finish the journey first." Kanan smiled, patting Goku on the back, "See, Goku? He'll come back."  
  
Goku nodded, letting the light into his eyes.  
  
Hakkai's eyes softened, remembering the recent conversation with Gojyo.  
  
("It's weird. The saru practically stalks the monk and one dream makes him back down.")  
("Goku doesn't know what to do when someone gives him rejection. So he simply breaks down.")  
("But Sanzo wouldn't do that.")  
("Dreams can feel like reality too, Gojyo.")  
  
  
It was hard to navigate their path now that the blood was hard to see, but they made it to a large tower by nightfall. It was one of those one tower bulidings, the dark making it seem like those cliché tower of doom in the movies. What bothered them though was that no youkai had attacked them. There were countless youkai before. Were they all wasted back at the hotel? Was that all this person had to offer? Goku was way ahead of the group, already inside. Hakuryuu was able to transform briefly, enabling the others to get things like Gojyo's shaku jou and Sanzo's sutras and gun, since he might be needing them. Goku fingered the Smith and Wesson around his belt. He had to find Sanzo. Where would he be?  
  
"Goku! Wait!" Hakkai ran up to him, "Don't go by yourself. We don't know what's up ahead."  
  
  
They agreed to split up. Hakkai and Goku would go up the stairs and Gojyo, Koumyou, and Kanan would check the bottom floor. The stairs spiraled around a center pillar, leading to the only other place there could be. The floor at the very top of the tower. The two glared at the wooden door ahead, as if it were a trap. Hakkai took a deep breath and slowly slid open the door. He wasn't ready for this kind of shock.   
  
The room was emitting blue light it seemed. A row of cells to his right, a stone wall to his left. This was like...This was like. Hakkai's emerald gaze darted to the farest cell, noticing the figure curled in the corner. Kanan? No.  
  
Sanzo.  
  
Goku seemed to notice too and ran ahead of Hakkai. As he shouted Sanzo's name, the priest's head tilted ever so slightly. His clothes looked like rags now, except for the arm warmers which stayed in condition. His body was bruised and battered, blood dripped and smeared his skin. Sanzo looked like a nightmare with the scarlet on his skin. A bleeding porcelain doll. Goku pulled at the lock, not even noticing when Sanzo's arm started moving. The lock shattered as soon as Goku noticed the lack of a gun on his belt. He looked up to see Sanzo pointing the barrel at himself.  
  
("This mansion is the beginning of a nightmare." - Vincent Valentine, Final Fantasy VII)  
  
Goku's eyes dilated as Hakkai instinctively stepped forward.  
  
("You're right-")  
  
The gun clicked.  
  
("- this mansion is the beginning of a nightmare" - Cloud Strife, Final Fantasy VII)  
  
Bang.  
  
[[You're poison to his mind. Poison to his soul]]  
  
  
TBC  
  
ano, am I using too many quotes? ^^;; 


	12. The Truth Behind the Smile

I've wanted to do a Gaiden story for a while and what do you know ^^. And I just realized this a few days ago or so, that Sanzo's robes are one thing. The whole plural thing must've confused me and mooshed my mind for the prologue, but I suppose that's okay ^^  
  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
  
Chapter Eleven  
{The Truth Behind the Smile}  
  
[Kissing and then beating me practically to death? What an odd way to treat a "son"]  
  
[then again- I doubt she's my mother anyway]  
  
  
"Konzen, what's a family?" Konzen Douji glanced up from his paperwork to see Goku standing there with his hands behind his back, awaiting the answer. Konzen's eye twitched a little. He hated being interrupted and didn't he clearly say to knock before entering? The golden haired man sighed, mentally shaking his head.  
  
"A family is a group of people that really care about you. Remember that because I'm not telling you again."  
  
Goku's eyes lit, "Ah! I see! I see! So you, Ten-chan, and Ken-niichan are -my- family right?"  
  
The nephew of Kannon-sama paused, "I suppose so."  
  
"Hm, am I interrupting something?"  
  
"Ten-chan!" Goku clung to the older man's sleeve, "Guess what, guess what?!"  
  
Tenpou chuckled as Kenren strided up from behind him, "What?"  
  
"Konzen said that he and you and Ken-niichan were my family! Isn't that great?! That's good too because I care about you all lots too!" Kenren grinned, ruffling the hyperactive child's hair, "Family, eh? If we're your family, then Douji here must be the mother with that hair and all."  
  
A vein popped on Konzen's forehead, "Urusai! What are you all doing here anyway?! I have work to do!"  
  
"What? You mean we can't check up on our own ever so hard-working Konzen Douji?" Tenpou shook his head at Kenren's sarcastic remark, "Actually Konzen, Goku wanted to have a picnic and we were wondering if you wanted to come."  
  
"Yeah, Konzen! It'll be great!"  
  
"Fine, if it'll get you losers out of my office." Konzen stood up and walked around to the front of his desk, but just as soon as he got up Goku grabbed his sleeve and started pulling him out of the room, "Let's go!"  
  
"Goku!" Tenpou sighed as his attempt to slow down the hyper kid failed. Even the dull-minded could tell Goku was really excited about this, mainly because he had picked the spot himself. Kenren shook his head while grinning, before placing an arm on the other's shoulders, "But then again, you come into a tie with Konzen on the "mother". And I didn't notice this before?" Tenpou chuckled until Goku came back and started pushing then from the back out the door, "Come on! It'll be real special!"  
  
"Hai hai!"  
  
"Oi, kid, don't shove."  
  
  
Tenpou and Kenren were brought out to a field of flowers, to where Konzen was standing by a small blanket and a picnic basket. Goku laughed and let go of the two, letting the glowing sun envelop him in warmth. Today was perfect!  
  
("This is where the flowers bloom the most.  
The sky always seems clear  
Our own personal Eden  
I'll be there")  
  
[perfection can be ruined]  
  
Everything seemed to go great, until later.  
  
[They were dead]  
  
[-Konzen- was -dead-]  
  
  
  
Goku withdrew his hands from the barrel of Sanzo's gun as the a dent in the wall smoked, watching the dull look on Sanzo's face. Why did he try to kill himself again? What was so wrong? Hakkai hurried over; Goku had never seen that look on Hakkai's face before. So panicked and stricken with fear and dread, and maybe a hint of deja vu? The green-claded man swung open the cell door, helping Sanzo out who remained silent. The other youkai watched in equal silence as Hakkai bandaged the many wounds on his stomach with his scarf. Sure, there were more than that, but that was the best that man could do right now.  
  
"What now, Hakkai?" The said man fumbled with the clasps on his shirt, tugging them off and untucking it to wrap around Sanzo's shoulders, due to the lack of material on him.  
  
"I don't know, Goku. We should get out of here first. We shouldn't leave Sanzo alone in this condition." Goku nodded, before noticing the pull of skin on Hakkai's stomach, that looked vaguely like a scar. It was pretty clear as to why it was such a huge shock. Hakkai always covered his stomach. Even this one time when Hakkai emerged from taking a shower, he had a pair of pants on and a towel that he held to his torso.  
  
"Hakkai? What's that?" The healer shook his head in a hurry, "It's not important right now, Goku. We need to get Sanzo out of here."  
  
It must've had something to do with Hakkai before he met him, or else he wouldn't have made such a big deal. That's got to be it.  
  
The truth behind the smile.  
  
  
  
What made everybody supicious was that no one attacked them. Fortunately, it made their job easier. Gojyo, Koumyou, and Kanan claimed they saw someone for a few seconds however. Golden hair, and possibly violet eyes. Hakkai's eyebrows furrowed as he pulled his shirt back on. It sounded like Sanzo, only Sanzo was with them. His emerald gaze glanced down to where blonde was resting. What did it mean though? Kanan swayed over to the other's side, "What's going to happen now? It doesn't seem like anyone's going to threaten us."  
  
"I don't know," Hakkai sighed, sitting down next to Hakuryuu who was recovering at a better rate than the other night. The tiny dragon 'kyuu'ed softly as his master's hand reached down and gently petted his long neck.  
  
"This person; Tell me."  
  
"You mean the one we saw?"  
  
"Hai."  
  
"This person was probably a woman, but all I could make out before she disappeared was that she had long blonde hair and purple eyes. It's a bit doubtful however. Her eyes...were truly very bright that they were almost pink. That's all I could make out really. The room was dark at the time."  
  
"Demo..that's all? Purple eyes and golden hair...I don't know any human with that type of description, nor have I ever seen one except for Sanzo."  
  
"I understand, Gonou, but how do you know it's a human?"  
  
"I don't know really...Kanan. Only a youkai could fit that but Sanzo isn't a youkai."  
  
  
("But why are we going? They don't need our help.")  
("Iie. That's not true. She can't get into the minds of heavenly beings.")  
("Kannon-sama, is she truly what she thinks she is?")  
("Iie. She...is not his mother.")  
  
  
  
[[You aren't worth anything]]  
  
[[You're a killer. A cold-blooded murderer]]  
  
[[You let Kanan die, you killed all those youkai, you almost let Sanzo die]]  
  
[[If it wasn't for the others, you would be Death walking]]  
  
[[You should rid yourself. You should rid yourself permantly. You aren't needed nor will you be missed]]  
  
It was the middle of the night again. They couldn't go anywhere in such darkness. Hakkai started to walk away from the campsite. He didn't know where he was going, nor did his mind seem to care. But in his hand was a long, silver knife.  
  
[[You worth nothing]]  
  
Hakkai's arm twtiched.  
  
[[You almost let Sanzo go because you didn't feel any compassion]]  
  
With his free hand, Hakkai fingered the scar across his stomach. 'This is your sin, your punishment. Your constant reminder of -that- day'. He saw his other arm rise, but he didn't feel anything inside of him. He saw it swipe the blade in his hand across the same scar and he felt nothing. He saw all this blood fall, and he was starting to tremble. He saw himself slash again, deeper and deeper, until he felt like something lifted on his mind. That was when he collasped, and that was when he started crying.  
  
'The same hopeless fool, who cannot love anyone, and who does not deserve to be loved' Hakkai blacked out.  
  
"So this is what Kannon-sama was talking about," murmured Koumyou, watching the blood spread closer to his feet.  
  
"This is why they send you two here? To keep us from dying?"  
  
"That would be right, Kouryuu."  
  
  
"Ah, what a nice breeze," Tenpou smiled as he watched Goku start to pick flowers. He claimed he was going to put them in Konzen's office to decorate it more. Kenren just relaxed against the grass behind Tenpou, a cigarette smoking from his lips. Maybe today was perfect. Not that he believed in silly things like perfection, but it was...nice. He glanced over to Konzen who was sitting on the other side of the blanket, across from him and Tenpou. Perhaps, Douji could say the same thing from the slight upper tilt on his lips.  
  
"Kenren, have you ever thought about death?" Kenren's ears perked up at the question from Tenpou, who just glanced back at him from over his shoulder. He even gained half of Konzen's attention, though it wasn't obvious.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'm just wondering what it was like to die. I don't know. A thought I suppose." Kenren lifted himself off the grass, ash falling from his cigarette, and pulled an arm around the other man.  
  
"Oi, the saru would be sad if you died. Not to mention me and probably Douji over there. Don't say such things."  
  
"I guess you're right,"The man chuckled just as Goku came back to the picnic spot with a bundle of flowers in his hand, giving them to Konzen with a bright smile on his young face. Tenpou and Kenren watched in amusement as the golden haired man accepted the flowers. Konzen had changed since Goku came. It was so obvious. Didn't he used to hate flowers?  
  
"Are they pretty, Konzen? I wanted to make sure your office looked great!"  
  
"Mhmm, they are pretty."  
  
"Yay!"  
  
Konzen's mind processed the recent conversation in his mind as Goku sat down again, telling Tenpou and Kenren about a certain butterfly that landed on his nose and made him sneeze.  
  
Death.  
  
[Have you ever wanted to die, Tenpou Gensui?]  
  
[[Have you ever wanted to die, Cho Gonou?]]  
  
"What's going on, Kouryuu? Why is this happening? I think you would know the true answer to that."  
  
"She wants to kill you all. She wants to break you all so she can have me."  
  
  
TBC  
  
  
Oyyyy, I don't like this chapter. I think I did bad on it. Aa, gomen ^^;; 


	13. Angel Decay

I can only assume anime guys have spare clothes. I mean with all the tears in battle magically mending back together and all Please ignore any typos you come across. I'm very tired to read the whole thing.  
  
Revised 7/22/02  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
  
Chapter Twelve  
{Angel Decay}  
  
  
Blood over there. Blood over here.   
  
Scarlet everywhere.  
  
  
  
"How many times are you going to haunt me?"  
  
"Kouryuu..."  
  
"Urusai."  
  
Koumyou turned over from Hakkai's fallen body and came face to face with one mighty pissed, smoking, and bandaged, Genjo Sanzo. Then again, he never expected Sanzo to be in such a light mood after what he went through. Still, any idiot could tell Sanzo was seriously injured and the fact that he was standing on his own two feet showed how stubborn he was to accept his weakness. Koumyou looked at him with his hazel eyes, as if inspecting the damage and growth of his successor to the title of Sanzo and closed his eyes again as always, smiling, "My, you've grown so much, Kouryuu."  
  
"My name is Genjo Sanzo now, in case you forgot," Sanzo let his glare soften, turning away. Of all peole, his master they had to send to help them. If it was someone else, he could handle it(maybe). But his master? Damndamndamndamn!  
  
"Sanzo, aren't you going to help me with Hakkai-san?"  
  
Sanzo looked over to where Koumyou knelt on the ground and scoffed, "He won't die. He's too stubborn."  
  
"Are you always going to be like this?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I fucking feel like it." Sanzo snapped, before looking down again, this time to the robe and the front half that pooled around his hips. His stomach ached with each inch of motion, jolting his nerves with the disturbance of an ugly purple/blue bruise. Damn that bitch. She was so going to pay. It hurt to even stand or reach over for something. He was grateful everything internal was avoided from damage, not that he believed it was. There was so much pain streaking his body he thought everything was in pain.  
  
But then there were those dreams. The ones with scarlet rain pouring down on him. He didn't know whether to believe in some "bloody and gorey future" that could be inevitable, or to ignore the whole thing. He wasn't a precog after all. But then there was always that voice he had heard years back from Goku, but Goku didn't have telepathy.  
  
"Something's bothering you. You can tell me, Kouryuu," Koumyou said from his spot next to Hakkai, trying to keep the wound from bleeding anymore as he turned the man over on his back. There wouldn't be any new scar, since the wound had traced the one the man had received from his mass murder. The trouble was whether or not Hakkai had come to hit any of his internal organs. If he did, they were screwed. The town was pretty far back. Sanzo lifted his gaze back to his mentor, hesitating at first but speaking with the cigarette balanced on his lips.  
  
"....Have you ever dreamt about scarlet rain?"  
  
"Scarlet rain? Maybe."  
  
"It's been coming up often, ever since I fell under that bitch's control. There's always something in the darkness, whether it be a youkai's claws trying to grab me or just...rain. Only what's supposed to be water is blood."  
  
Koumyou stayed silent for a while, before finally responding, "I dreamt about that too, the night before you became Genjo Sanzo."  
  
The blonde's eyes narrowed as Koumyou sighed, taking his attention back to Hakkai.  
  
"I thought so. I'm leaving."  
  
"Kouryuu?"  
  
Sanzo grabbed his gun as soon as he finished lifting the top half of his robes back around his torso and arms, taking the short moment to load any bullets, replacing the empty shells inside. Taking one more drag of the drug in his mouth, he let it fall to the ground and stomped it out.  
  
"You're still injured, even after Hakkai healed and closed your wounds, you still need to recover. It wouldn't be wise to get revenge now."  
  
"No. Tonight, I'm leaving by myself."  
  
"It doesn't have to be your fight, Kouryuu."  
  
Sanzo grit his teeth as his fingers closed in fists. He remained silent for a few minutes, staring at the tower nearby, the kind that was supposed to unnerve you with its "spookiness" but only seemed to show up in the movies. He didn't dare to look back at his mentor. His mentor--  
  
Who was supposed to be dead and gone.  
  
"It is my fight. I don't need anyone's help."  
  
"...."  
  
"...If I dream about this scarlet rain, what do you think will happen?"  
  
"..Death."  
  
"My death?"  
  
"Kouryuu, you don't have to this."  
  
The blonde closed his eyes, before reopening them to reveal his violet irises, his feet starting to carry him away from the campsite,  
  
"I told you. My name is Genjo Sanzo."  
  
  
  
Moments later as the said man was long gone from the site, a pair of emerald green eyes burst wide open. Koumyou, being right there, noticed the other's consiousness, "Hakkai-san?" A sinister grin broke out on the man's face as he stood up, eyes blank and as wide as they could be.   
  
"Hakkai-san?"  
  
The younger man just smiled as his fingers reached up and removed the clasps that were attached to his left ear. The energy that had been restrained cracked through as Hakkai started to lurch over, as if in pain. Leaf-like pattern spread over his pale skin, his fingernails forming to extend and sharpen. His ears twitched to lengthen as well as the canines in his mouth. The cloth that had been pressed to his wound lay absent on the ground as the blood kept spilling and spilling, going by unnoticed by the injured youkai. His mind was entirely blank except for that little voice saying-  
  
Kill  
  
"Hakk-" One swipe of the hand was all it took to hit Koumyou Sanzo across the chest.   
  
Experience death once and experience it again.  
  
Coming back from Heaven didn't mean you couldn't die again. It's all the very same. The tenkai being fell back, his whole form starting to fade away like a youkai. He was dead again and going back to the corrupted Heaven where he was before. That was one out of the way. Once the tenkai beings were out of the way, there would be absolute chaos. Hakkai smiled again, stepping over the gradually fading remains of Koumyou before striding over to the place where the others slept. He licked the blood off his claws and started to stalk forward to Cho Kanan, who was blissfully unaware.  
  
Total slaughter..Create total slaughter...  
  
"Hmm, and just where do you think you're going, buddy?" Hakkai looked over his shoulder to see Gojyo standing there with Goku, who was still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. The grinning youkai placed a claw over the throat of the sleeping girl and slashed, spilling blood everywhere. Scarlet, crimson, ruby, at every inch of the man's hand. Goku was wide awake now.  
  
"H-Hakkai! How could you do that?! That was Kanan! Your sister!"  
  
"Hakkai? Who's he? I'm Gonou, you silly boy," Turning away from the angel decay he had made, Gonou gave that sinister look at the remaining two. Goku bit his bottom lip. He didn't wanna fight Hakkai! Not Hakkai! And where was Sanzo?!  
  
"Dammit! That monk ran off on us!" He heard from the half-youkai next to him. But there was no way Sanzo would bail out without a reason!  
  
"It doesn't matter! Nyoibou!"  
  
Gonou kept grinning like everything in the world amused him. Smile this, smile that. Gojyo growled. That look.. that look was the same Goku had whenever his limiter broke. A glance of insanity within every depth of emerald green eyes. Holding shaku-jou firmly in his grip, he charged in first, "Iku zo!"  
  
  
  
When Sanzo entered the tower, it seemed pretty dull. There was only one winding stairway that led up to where he was imprisoned and everything like a kitchen was basically on the bottom floor. And there were..cherry blossoms? The blonde's eyes narrowed as he spotted his target sitting on the nearby table with a bundle of pink blossoms. The ends of her mouth tugged up as she blew another handful of petals his way. Sanzo brought his arm up to level the barrel of his gun to the spot between her unnatural eyes. But she continued to smile, that mischievious smile that always said there was something she was hiding.  
  
Celphia jumped off the tabletop, holding something behind her back like a child wanting to surprise her mother with a gift.  
  
"Aren't dolls just precious? So much fun, wouldn't you say?"  
  
"Get to the fuckin' point."  
  
She giggled like a teenage schoolgirl, before bringing the doll around to her chest, holding it close like a young girl. Sanzo's amethyst eyes widened as he looked over the doll, lowering his arm. It was a doll of Hakkai, at least he thought it was Hakkai. It was youkai doll looking like the said man, with leaf prints over his skin. No, it was the real Hakkai, his natural form. It had to be. Celphia tightened her arms around it, the tiny ear cuffs that were for the doll attached to three of her fingers.  
  
Sanzo gritted his teeth as he glared daggers at her, taking notice of the dolls of Goku and Gojyo and himself behind her, "What did you do?"  
  
"Let's just say," Celphia grinned, " Cho Gonou is expressing the other side of himself. He was so easy, with his mind weak because of his current situation. But I like him."  
  
The gun in Sanzo's hand clicked as he aimed again and fired.  
  
  
  
Gojyo cried out as his stomach was torn open and he himself was shoved back into Goku who was in shock of how much blood had spilled. Scarlet there, crimson here. The golden-eyed boy grunted as he removed himself from under Gojyo, his motions a bit too slow and sluggish for his liking, "Gwaa~! I'm so huuungry~! Starving!"  
  
Gojyo coughed, blood spraying onto his fist, "Yeah, well you've survived through it before. I'll go get his ear cuffs while you distract him."  
  
"Me?!"("Why me?" Chibi Goku pouted)  
  
"Just do it!"  
  
But as Gojyo started to make a break for the cuffs, it seemed to catch the eye of a certain youkai, and that certain youkai wasn't finished playing with the said man. The red-haired half-youkai cried out as he was taken to the ground, claws digging into his back and shredding and tearing at his skin. Goku growled and charged at Gonou, slamming the end of Nyoibou into the small of the other's back, throwing him completely off to the dirt.  
  
  
  
"You almost hit my Hakkai dolly. You're such a mean son, yes you are," The woman smiled as the petals she collected were disturbed when the table was shot.  
  
"The next bullet won't miss."  
  
"Oh, but if you hit my doll, then that's a hit for Hakkai too."  
  
"Nani?!"  
  
Celphia's mouth broke into a cruel smile, pulling the doll's shirt up to reveal the scar that Hakkai reopened and turned the doll around to show the gray spot where Goku's Nyoibou had hit, "If you like, I could end it right here for him." Sanzo's eyes glared at her as the knife that had suddenly appeared in her hand pressed against the doll's plastic neck.  
  
"You hide behind your voodoo dolls. How pathetic and low. You're so shameless," The priest's right eye squinted at his arm raised to fire once more.   
  
Always there was a smile on that face.  
  
  
  
"I can't beat him like this," Goku growled as Gonou was starting to get back on his feet.  
  
"If you're thinking about taking off that limiter, forget it! One rampant youkai's enough!"  
  
"But how did Hakkai lose control? I thought he had a good hold over his power."  
  
Gojyo grunted as he stood back on his feet, using the shaku-jou to help balance him, "Probably the fault of same bitch who took Sanzo away."  
  
"I wonder if Sanzo went to that tower."  
  
"He probably did."  
  
"Why didn't he ask us to go with him?"  
  
"....."  
  
"Gojyo?"  
  
"Who knows?"  
  
As Gonou started charging again, the other two stood ready to defend and counter. But when blood suddenly spilled itself from Gonou's shoulder, everything went into utter confusion.  
  
[Remember, that--]  
  
  
As soon as Sanzo fired, the knife shifted to stab the doll's right shoulder, the bullet nailing her in the very same area. Celphia placed the doll down, "If you continue to hurt me, Cho Gonou will experience the same pain. Or maybe I should choose Sha Gojyo or even Son Goku?"  
  
"Leave them out of this. This fight is between you and me."  
  
The woman just giggled, "If you say so."   
  
Pale fingers reached for the bangle designed with a cross on both sides on her right forearm, and snapped it off. She lurched forward as Hakkai had. Bright violet eyes blinked wide open. Her painted nails grew sharper and once that started happening, Sanzo cursed out loud.  
  
A youkai. She was a fuckin' youkai.  
  
  
Ch'..figures.  
  
  
[--Dreaming of scarlet rain means death]  
  
  
TBC 


	14. Don't Go Alone

sf - mm, but if I was just kicked and wounded and kissed I wouldn't be thinking much about being respectful ^^.  
  
Unless we forget, Gensomaden Saiyuki belongs to Minekura Kazuya and Enix. This wouldn't be fanfiction if I was making a profit from it.  
  
Slight spoilers for Volume 8 or 9. I've never seen it however, only an excerpt so my information may not be entirely correct.  
The first POV shown is Celphia's. The second POV shown at the end is Sanzo.  
  
Incarcerated; Rain  
  
Epilogue  
{Don't Go Alone}  
  
  
  
In slow, full steps a brunette boy, the age of ten, stepped out to the place where Tenkai grew their sakura trees. The chains attached to his wrists and ankles jingled slightly in the silent breeze. His face was painted with dry blood. Blood on his hands. Blood on his feet. Blood everywhere. This boy with the rare golden eyes of an itan, looked up to the tree in front of him. Hanging in mid-air was a man with long, billowing hair. His lifeless arms were forced to the side and nailed to two branches of the tall plant. His slender neck was cut open, his eyes closed off from the world. The scarlet that had slipped from the man's pale wrists and his neck in death had died out by now, as if he'd been hanging from merely the nails embedded in the ends of his forearms for a long time.  
  
  
Careless rose-blushed petals touched the young boy's crying face.  
  
"Konzen..."  
  
  
Cherry blossoms  
Falling like rain  
Imprisoned in cherry blossoms  
Incarcerated in rain  
  
  
Kanzeon leaned back in her chair, crossing one of her legs over the other. An amused smile lit up the Boddhisvata's face.  
  
"Now, it gets interesting. I wonder how they'll fair." Her gaze flickered over the specks of the dust she could hardly make out from the dirt, recognizing it to be whatever remained of Kanan and Koumyou, "Pulling a soul from the cycle of reincarnation before their new life is born; Part of me thinks it was a bit unnecessary. But then Konzen wouldn't do so well either way, would he?" She smirked as the events of life down on Earth continued to be seen through the pond of water lilies.  
  
  
----+------  
  
Konzen, ai shiteru.  
  
When you were born it was such a burden to my feelings. Watching you grow up, watching you mature into such a lovely man. And I sinned by loving you deeper than a mother-son relationship. I sinned by kissing you, making love to you. Your father never knew. Oh Konzen. You're all I have. All I want.  
  
Such beautiful blue eyes  
  
Your father won't know. He's dead.  
  
Ai shiteru  
  
Ai shiteru  
  
Ai shiteru  
  
So much blood on my hands.  
  
Youkai blood.  
  
----+------  
  
  
Gojyo cursed as Gonou swiped at him once more, being able to strike him across the shoulder. But what did he expect? This guy had killed half his clan AND a thousand youkai, while he was still human. Imagine what he could do as a youkai. The kappa didn't like thinking about the amount of damage that could happen. And he really didn't like thinking about Goku taking off his limiter just to overwhelm the other. He wasn't about to die trying to stop both, that's for sure.  
  
And there was Sanzo who was still in recovery, going after that woman they'd all thought they'd seen. Even while his wounds could very well reopen and bleed his veins dry, he still went alone and-  
  
"Goku. Go after the stinkin' bouzu."  
  
"Whaaat?" Gojyo refused to look at the clueless look that he knew was on the boy's face.  
  
"Go after Sanzo. He's not exactly well, you know." 'Not that I care about that stupid monk.'  
  
"But, Gojyo-Hakkai-"  
  
"Go. Before I make you, bakazaru."  
  
'He needs you.'  
  
Goku looked back at Gonou, who observed in morbid fascination, his hand which was painted his hands red after slashing the half-youkai's shoulder. Hakkai would be alright. Like he had said before, "As long as you have people who believe in you, you can save yourself, because you don't want to cause yourself shame." That's right, that's right. Hakkai said so himself. Hakkai was practically always right. As the shorter youkai ran past Gojyo, back into the trees, he nodded to himself.  
  
Hakkai would be alright, he just had to be-  
  
because Goku always believed in him.  
  
  
  
Sanzo felt his eyebrows narrow as the blonde woman's ears lengthened, dark markings of a youkai faded into sight on her face. Her canines sharpened and grew, her fingers practically spasming over the release of power into her that was once sucked away by the bangle that now lay like a broken toy on the floor. The monk wasted no time in firing at the woman.  
  
When she moved away from the shelves behind her, his heart seemed to stop.  
  
He could recognize the doll on the middle shelf , torn from the sockets provided on the torso. He could recognize the hair on the figure's head. The long, brown bangs. The slender braid in the back. It had to be. It couldn't be. No way. Flashes of shock passed through him. Visions of the image Kami-sama had given them. The doll. That doll whose head popped off on its own and fell. And on the floor was his master's own head, bleeding from the neck. Pieces of vertebrae stuck out of the flesh. The raw stink of metallic blood that shouldn't have reached him in a dream wafted the air like a ghost.  
  
("Aaaa, it's broken.")  
  
Sanzo didn't notice the fist coming straight at him.  
  
("You broke it.")  
  
As soon as the blonde hit the floor, reality snuck back up on him. His grip on his gun was gone, the item now a few feet away by that cursed youkai's feet. He could see the metal plates on the the tips of her boots, reflecting off the blurred image of himself on the ground. If the doll of Koumyou Sanzo was broken..that could only mean that after he left...  
  
'Sou ka. It's my fault again isn't it?'  
  
One gloved hand pushed down on the floor as the monk rose to his feet.  
  
("I couldn't protect him.")  
  
'I don't need to hear this again.'  
  
("When you're weak, everybody dies.")  
  
'I know that.'  
  
("Be strong, Genjo Sanzo-houshi.")  
  
Sanzo wiped at the blood trickling from the side of his mouth with the back of his hand.  
  
[I'm not strong.]  
  
  
  
Gojyo swung his shaku jou, letting the chain whirl out of its socket to curve around and strike Gonou in the other shoulder with the fairly large crescent blade. Indeed it did hit the other youkai, but the brunette didn't really seem to notice as he rushed forward and slammed the the palm of his clawed hand straight into the half-youkai's face, sending him flying back into a tree. As Gojyo cried out and hit the dirt, Gonou wasted no time in pouncing on the man, ignoring the wide awake Hakuryuu 'kyuu'ing over his head, not recognizing this man full of bloodlust to be his master. He swung his claws across the half-youkai's chest. Left. Right. Left. Right. The splash of scarlet flying up to hang on his leaf patterned cheeks made his excitement grow more and more. The stench, the sight, the sound of flesh tearing. But Gojyo wouldn't give up so easily. He shot an arm up and grasped the next hand coming down at him, pushing against Gonou to prevent another strike. This made the youkai angry as he lifted his free arm in intention to break Gojyo's rib cage. In return, the other caught his speeding limb, and squeezed his foot between his and the brunette before kicking him away. The redhead cringed as he caught the sound of his boot squishing against fresh blood. How disgusting. He didn't dare to take his precious time merely to stand as also he nailed Gonou in the cheek while the youkai was still stumbling back.  
  
The moonlight bouncing off the three ear cuffs near Gonou's feet caught the attention one pair of rose-blushed eyes. Gojyo practically dived for them.  
  
  
Goku grunted as he ducked a low hanging branch coming at his forehead. There were so many youkai before attacking them, but he didn't see any now. But that army that attacked Hakkai, Gojyo, and himself while Sanzo was still "sleeping", was it merely a distraction? It had to be, or else Sanzo wouldn't have acted so weird afterwards. Goku wildly shook his head as he looked up with golden eyes that rivaled the sun's light at the faraway square tower. Now wasn't the time to think about that. Must get to Sanzo. Have to protect Sanzo.  
  
  
  
Celphia grunted as she fell back to the floor as she felt the force of Sanzo's punch. Quickly getting to her feet, she swung one booted leg as the other's side. Sanzo blocked and swiftly ran forward and knocked the air out of the woman's lungs with another fist. The monk stepped back as he watched the woman take deep, sharp breaths of air. Grunting, he lifted his foot and kick her in the gut, wrenching a strangled cry from the youkai. Celphia panted as she balanced herself on one of the shelves. Sanzo threw another punch, but this time she mangaged to dodged and Sanzo ended up nailing the Goku doll's left arm.  
  
'...Shimatta'  
  
  
Goku cried out as he fell back in shock, clutching his broken left arm. How did -that- happen? No matter, but it wouldn't be much easier to run with a broken limb sending him out of balance. He winced at the pain as he steadied himself on one of the trees. He had to keep going. No need to stay here and wait for someone to find him. He had to keep running, even if it did mean his heavy arm may lead him straight into a tree.  
  
  
The monk probably should've been grateful the arm of the doll didn't end up breaking at all. Either that was some strong plaster or his surprise made the punch weaker. Whatever the reason, the monkey wasn't dead. So he turned back around on him heel, to face Celphia who had walked around behind him.  
  
"Konzen, let's go back to Ashaite, where we can be happy again. I know all the people are gone, but that's okay. That weren't happy with our relationship. They had told me they killed you because it was sinful for a mother to love her son like that, but I didn't believe it one bit and even though the next day I woke up a few towns away as a disgusting youkai, we can still be happy."  
  
'Ashaite? Wasn't that the town that was trying to create some sort of drug to enhance a human's ability? I heard the drug leaked out in an accident and killed all the people from a side-effect, but...'   
  
Sanzo's eyes bored into the bright amethyst color that was the woman's eyes, tinted with a slight pink around the center.   
  
'All I can guess is that she destroyed the town and the drug got free, but if there was a fire, it probably burned out of the air. That's probably how her eyes are so bright and she can manipulate people's minds. She probably inhaled some of it and it mixed in with her youkai abilites and enhanced them. And...apparently she had killed a thousand youkai out of anger. She and Hakkai are so similar it's disgusting.'  
  
The monk slowly bent over to pick up his gun, keeping a watchful eye on the woman who just stood there. He could feel the small hints of despair mixed with the youkai's bloodlust that was mostly full of malice.  
  
'All she wants is to be with her dead son or whatever. She's insane, but that one wish is all that's left of her humanity. She -is- insane, but she's fighting the youkai instincts in her to stop the malice that's blinding her. It of all drove her off the edge, and now she mostly just wants to kill. Even when she was wearing that youryoku limiter, that part of her that wanted her son back and the other which couldn't accept he was dead made her this way.'  
  
[Sou ka. I can just imagine what's going through her head]  
  
[[Kill kill kill. Konzen. It's Konzen. Don't kill him. He really wasn't dead. Kill kill kill.]]  
  
Kill.  
  
Celphia lunged forward, ready to slash at Sanzo's torso. Sanzo's arm moved up and to fire, but not before a pair of claws were able to slice open a particularly large scar across his stomach. He winced, but paid no attention, even has the sudden movement stretched his broken skin painfully and ruptured a few bruises. The bullet that was to be fired earlier embedded itself in the youkai's shoulder as she was backing away.   
  
Angry, she sprung off the floor, mangaging to catch him slightly off guard enough to makes three parallel marks on his left cheek He fired out of instinct, but cursed out loud as his revolver came with an empty click. She dragged her other arm forward to stab in his shoulder. Sanzo grunted in pain as he kicked her away in the stomach, biting his lower lip as the claws extracted from deep within his flesh. The monk reached into his robes, pulling out three bullets in a hurry, letting the empty shells fall to the floor, he swiftly dodged to the side as Celphia jumped at him again, slipping in one bullet in time before she lunged back at him...  
  
...and completely surprised him as her pale arms wrapped themselves around his neck.  
  
Sanzo stood still as Celphia pulled him closer, ignoring the barrel pushing against the area where her heart lay.  
  
One bullet left.  
  
Bang.  
  
  
----+------  
  
  
Part of me wanted to believe she was my mother. That part of me had died along with my master. Part of me wished maybe it was a mistake I was abandoned. Then again, I was probably disgusting to my "parents" if I was left to die.  
  
Was it my eyes? Too much like a youkai?  
  
I don't care.  
  
Why should I care?  
  
The darkness I had hid myself in was creeping closer to me, even as the light appeared before me. Calling me again. Ready to chase me to the ends of the earth again. But even as the light was there, I didn't want it. Like I deserve light. I had the light to be with me all those years ago. The day my master died was the day it faded away and left me in the dark. Years later it crept back up on me and started chasing me. I won't accept it. You'll just go away again. The darkness is getting closer, nearly blinding everything in front of me, including the light. Yes, the light.  
  
Fading  
  
Fading  
  
Fading  
  
I can't accept something I know I'm going to lose.  
  
Gone.  
  
  
----+------  
  
  
"Konzen?"  
  
Konzen Douji looked up to come face to face with Goku. The boy wanted to go outside to the Sakura garden, in hopes they would meet Kenren and Tenpou. Goku knew for a fact Kenren liked hanging around the Sakura trees and Tenpou would eventually come out to find him. So Goku wanted to wait, but Konzen was also dragged along. Maybe they could play a game, as the boy insisted, much to the older man's protests. So Konzen was just sitting against a tree trunk, supposedly supervising Goku as he climbed a few of the trees.  
  
"What is it?" He was feeling sleepy from the overwhelming scent of cherry blossoms.  
  
Goku sat down next to him, looking in fascination at the petals falling from high above, "You think we can stay here forever? It's the only place I know of that's so much like earth. There were so many trees where I was, like this. Earth is so much better than Heaven, Konzen. I'd love it if you, and Ten-chan, and Ken-niichan could come with me if I can ever go back there."  
  
[Stay here forever?]  
  
"Hmmm." Forever?   
  
[Be with you forever?]  
  
"Maybe."  
  
  
  
  
-Owari-  
  
  
Hee. I'm evil ^^.   
  
I never told you guys, did I? Incarcerated; Rain is my first Saiyuki fic everrrrr. I was so cheesy @_@. How can it have so many reviews?  
  
And Sanzo could've done the "Makai Tenjo" thing but then we wouldn't have a chapter, would we?  
  
If you haven't guessed, the light Sanzo was referring to was Goku.  
  
I did a picture of Celphia on oekaki.  
  
http://www.geocities.com/etheralprodigy/Celphia1.png  
  
It was done at 7 in the morning @_@ without caffiene @___@ without sleeeeep X_X.  
  
Okay, I'm done with this fic now. What a relief @_@.  
  
Waaah, I can't bear to read over my fic now. Too stupid. 


End file.
